I Am Your Pancreas

365:297

2012-01-20T13:19:00.001-08:00

365:296

2012-01-19T12:57:00.001-08:00

365:295 Always Adjusting

2012-01-14T09:00:00.000-08:00

365:294 High Risk Activity

2012-01-12T15:25:00.000-08:00

I am still having a chuckle, but bear with me, it may take a few words or more to get there. Addison had his semi-annual dental check up today. Being the daughter of a dentist, a dentist who, btw, showed said daughter graphic videos of gum surgery as a scare tactic to ensure proper teeth maintenance, I have been feeling pretty cocky about my son's perfectly cared for teeth. After all, I do know about caring for teeth, being a dentists daughter and all. Well...apparently, I am not the champion teeth caretaker I thought I was because Addison has an appointment coming up to fill some cavities. Finding out your child has cavities is a true disappointment. Especially when you do your best to do all the things you are told to do for your child's teeth. There is one thing though. One enemy of the teeth that I can't seem to do anything about - night time lows. We have been having a spell of those these past few months and clearly all the night feeding of quick acting sugar has taken its toll. Today, our dentist referred to this night time feeding as a "high risk activity"! He wasn't telling me not to do it of course, just commenting that it could be a big contributor to Addison's cavities. Still, it made me chuckle to think of gently nudging a fruit bar down the throat of my sleeping, innocent looking chid in the midst of a low blood sugar as a "high risk activity". Ha! So, I ordered up a kids sonicare toothbrush today and will arm myself with kids mouthwash too. We will brush longer and floss more and do our best to minimize our night time "high risk activities".

365:293 Get Your Math On

2012-01-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

I have a love/hate relationship with the ipad. We go through fits and spurts of letting Addison play with and without setting time limits. I worry that too much ipad will kill too many brain cells, squash creativity, independent thinking and hinder imagination. My husband and I do our best to keep things balanced but sometimes, on those busy days, balance just seems to slip away. It surprises me though, how when left to his own devices, he will grow tired of his favorite racing game and choose to work on short vowel sounds and building words and most of all - math. The other day, he was counting out loud to himself on the couch and I went over to see what he was doing. This is what I found. He was making math problems for himself and solving them (note the backwards 7!). Math has never been my strong suit but since Addison's diagnosis, I speak Math like I have never spoken it before. I am always uttering numbers and calculating and solving problems. I was convinced I would kill my son when he was first diagnosed and the cold reality of the number crunching necessary to manage this disease was made clear. Almost 4 years later, the math problems I can now figure out in my head has improved greatly! Surely this has to influence Addison? Maybe it isn't diabetes at all. Maybe it is just a natural inclination towards mathematics inherited from his Papa. Who knows! All I know is that there is a lot of number speak in our house and Addison seems to have glommed onto it.

365: 292 Gingerbread Hope

2011-12-29T08:44:00.000-08:00

Hope. As the year draws to a close, we continue to hope. Hope for good health, good blood sugars, peace and happiness. Hope that research for Type 1 Diabetes continues to get funding and powers forward so our children may someday utter the phrase "I used to have Type 1". To Hope. May we never stop believing and hoping. Wishing all of you a most Happy and Hopeful New Year!

Just for A Moment

2011-12-19T07:47:00.000-08:00

Diabetes is our constant companion. It is always on my mind in one way or another. Every once in a while though, this beautiful thing happens. I forget. I forget about carbs, highs, lows, finger checks, bubbles in tubing checks, test strips, supplies....I forget about all of it. We took Addison Ice Skating at a pop up rink in our neighborhood about a week ago. We were all caught up in the excitement of getting our skates, putting them on and getting out onto the ice. This was Addison's first time skating after all. We were having so much fun. We got out on the(synthetic) ice and to our surprise, Addison balanced! His skates didn't cave inwards and topple him, he was actually balancing! Ho ho! Chris and I were grinning ear to ear and off we went. And I had forgotten. Normally, I would have checked blood sugars before starting an activity such as ice skating but it had slipped my mind. It was just me and my family out having some good holiday fun like normal people do. A turn around the rink went by and it occurred to me that I had forgotten about D. I felt positively giddy. It was so wonderful to have had that short gift of a moment in time to enjoy my son and husband with my mind unfettered. This moment did not make me go back to thinking about diabetes with resentment. Not at all. We live with diabetes and we do our best to integrate it into our daily existence without resentment or anger or sadness. It is what it is,for the most part. When my mind frees itself though, on occasion, and forgets and I get to just be in the moment without D, it makes me all the more appreciative of how beautiful that moment was.

365:291 Determination

2011-12-06T08:47:00.001-08:00

I have to admit, it makes my skin crawl just a bit when I see Addison poke his own finger and squeeze out a big old glop of blood. However, it also makes my heart swell a bit too as I see him so determined to take his care into his own hands.

365:290 Discussions About Death & The Afterlife

2011-12-03T18:53:00.001-08:00

We were having a lovely morning. First stop was a visit with Santa. Delightful. Second stop a 10am showing of The Muppets downtown for Disney employees and their families (yes, my husband works for Disney!). The Muppet Movie was...delightful! Third stop, the cafe in Pike Place Market that Addison lovingly refers to as "Breakfast Anytime" even though that is not its real name. Delight....suddenly the world turned dark. I looked across the table and listened to Addison as I watched the expression on his face change from delight to the great shadow of worry. What's wrong Pook? When I die, will it be a blank screen? I don't want to die and have it be a blank screen! Then there was lip quivering and there were tears. From me and from him! I don't know where it came from but out of the blue there it was. My husband and I assured him that when he died it would certainly not be a blank screen. He asked - How do you know??! How do you know for sure? I am glad my husband was there. Between the two of us I think we cobbled together some calming words. My husband explained that everyone's death was special and unique just like their birth. What happened after a person died was unique to each person. I told Addison that everyone has a life energy that goes back into something else when they die but we couldn't really predict what that would be. Could my life energy come back in another person? Absolutely! Then that is would I would do. I would put my life energy back into my body and come back as me. When my life energy comes back a second time, I don't want to have diabetes. There I was at Breakfast Anytime, happy to be seated in a discreet part of the room so I didn't get too many stares as the tears streamed down my face. Addison doesn't talk about his diabetes too much so to hear him say this just really made my heart ache. I haven't cried about diabetes in a loooooooong time. Maybe, just like Addison, I put on my brave face most days but that wish to make this disease go away and the worry about what could go wrong is always there.

365:289 He likes Pink

2011-11-30T06:52:00.001-08:00

This photo says it all really. Addison, wearing his pink pump shirt while showing off his home made ninja sticks. He is a fierce ninja fighter wearing pink. We have a slew of pump shirts that stopped looking so good thanks to our not so great washing machine and being thrown in the wash with other colors. Yes they were white and yes my husband and I are lazy laundry do-ers. I asked Addison to choose a color to dye them and he, of course, chose pink. If you have been following along here you probably already know that this is Addison's favorite color. He has pink mittens, a pink butterfly lunchbox, pink infusion sets and pink socks. He treasures all of them. Well, maybe not the infusion sets! It has been funny to be in preschool where some of the other kids, girls particularly, have developed of sense of gender stereotypes already. Addison hasn't really encountered this much before now. We have taken loads of classes and been with friends but this is the first time we are in a large group of children that we see several times a week. The other day I overheard one of the girls in is class say to her mom as they were leaving "Look at Addison's lunchbox, it's PINK! Pink is for girls!" The mom gently explained that anyone can like pink not just girls. A similar conversation about the color pink happened at pre-k lunch yesterday (not directed at Addison) and their teacher said how much he liked pink and how he had pink shoes and a couple of pink shirts. Nice. I was happy to hear a man defending pink as a color for everyone! Addison always goes longingly by the girls section, wowed by all the pink. I wonder how it all came about..making pink strictly a girls color?

365: 288 Navigating Preschool

2011-11-20T08:29:00.001-08:00

I haven't been here because I have been out there trying to adjust to our new schedule and preschool. To say that Addison loves his preschool and his teacher is a gross understatement. I have been absolutely amazed at his ability to jump right in, participate and be part of his new community. As I may have mentioned before, his preschool is a cooperative so parents have to be there in working capacity one day a week and can be there as much or as little as they like the rest of the time. It has been an awkward period for me. As much as Addison seems to have found his place here, I find myself on the periphery. All the other parents have been wonderful and welcoming and the teacher has told us he is happy we are there but I have felt like a hovering, helicoptering parent to my son. I have felt like the sore thumb sticking out as I constantly check his glucose monitor and prick his fingers during class. I never felt like I quite fit in at school when I was younger and I am having flashbacks for sure of feeling like an outsider at school.

Addison does not want to miss out on any of the action so sometimes I saddle up to him in circle time, meter in hand, to check him while he listens to the teacher. He doesn't seem to mind but I can't help feeling like I am interrupting class. We have been having trouble with lows..first in the mornings and this past week in the afternoons. We also had a failed sensor that was replaced in the morning before we went to school one day. Last tuesday was a doozy. Tuesday is his pre-k day and there are only 8 kids in the class. They start their day by all having lunch together with their teacher. It is a beautiful thing. A communal meal to talk and eat together. All the other kids bring their lunch boxes over and eat what they want and then start class. The week before, I packed a few things for Addison and all he ate was his edamame which had practically no carbs. He was low an hour later. SO, this week he was running low before class so I gave him some banana without coverage so I could give him space at the lunch table. Again, he only ate his edamame but I felt ok about it since he had the banana. It turned out he needed more to eat because he went low an hour or so later. Here is the thing -as a parent of a T1 child A+B may = C today but it probably won't tomorrow. There is no formula I can follow that will give me a consistent outcome. Something the casual observer won't understand. I HATE being that parent that hovers over their almost 5 year old making sure they eat some carbs!! Then again, I might be hovering tomorrow to make sure that he DOESN'T eat any carbs because of a high. Yup. Then, Addison's sensor beeped in the middle of circle time to let me know I needed to enter 2 start up blood sugars. Since there are only 8 kids in the class on tuesday, there was no way to be inconspicuous and I didn't want to take Addison out of circle time so I sat next to him with meter ready to check. The teacher stopped what he was doing and put the spotlight on Addison to ask him what we were doing and to talk about it. I was glad to be given the opportunity for Addison to talk about what we were doing but at the same time I just wanted to get in and get out as quietly as I could! I never want Addison to feel like he has to hide taking care of himself but I don't want him to feel like a spectacle either. His teacher did a great job of asking questions and letting Addison talk and certainly didn't make it feel like a spectacle. I just have been feeling extra sensitive at school about everything! After their PE time, he had a low which coincided with needing to use the restroom so I quietly whisked him off to potty and down a juice box. At the end of the 2.5 hour class, he was sitting next to his teacher who was reading his (long) entry about having a visit with "Love Cat" (every child gets to take the stuffed animal Love Cat home for a week and then contribute something creative about their visit in a binder). Dexie vibrated and beeped while he was up there. Hardly anyone seemed to notice it. Class was almost over so I did not interrupt what they were doing. Addison was SO happy to be up there. It would have really stunk to have to pull him away from it. I waited a few seconds until they finished and then checked Addison on our way out. He was 75. Not too bad but considering the arrow down, in need of a boost.

I left school that day feeling deflated. I hate hovering. I hate interrupting Addison. I hate always having one part of my brain thinking about my next D-move. I struggle with worrying about what others think when they look in on my parenting of Addison as I hover and check and yet there is another voice in my head that puffs out its chest, stands proud and says I do this to keep my son safe and I don't give a crap if you get it or not!

I sent out a letter to the parents at school asking for volunteers to help with Addison's care on they days I don't work. I got so many warm responses and feel like I have a willing army ready to be trained - which is amazing! We will set up some training sessions after the holiday. This will be a big deal for me, this training a group of parents to watch over my child while I am not there. Days like Tuesday make me wonder how it can even be possible! In the meantime, I will try and get more comfortable in the classroom and keep on trying to keep that worrying voice in my head at bay so I can stand tall and do what I need to do without feeling self-conscious.

365:287 Long Shadows

2011-11-06T11:45:00.001-08:00

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-10-31T07:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween! May your night be spooky and fun and may blood sugars not give you any troubles! Here are a few vintage treats ..enjoy!

365:286 Getting ConnecT1D, Giant Pink Bunnies & Zombie Proms

2011-10-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

See that ninja right there? That is Addison at his Preschool Halloween Party last night. It was insane, I gotta tell ya. Kids in costumes, running amok high on a good time,pizza and sugary treats. Teacher Tom is truly the kids whisperer though. He managed to lead all the kids pied piper style to clean up all of their classroom and then have a super fun Halloween circle time with songs and stories. I was watching Addison have a blast and all of a sudden, I noticed that look on his face. I tried to take him out of the circle time to check his blood sugar but he refused NO! I don't want to miss this!! So, I made my way into the mass of kids to check blood sugars. 90, arrow straight down, a fair amount of insulin on board. I went to the treat table and returned to force feed some halloween cookie. All was good. This is new territory though. Being in a large group and keeping an eye on the ol' D. This is part of my new community though. And last night I was making some connections. I met another parent who happens to be on the preschool board and she asked about Addison's diabetes. She told me her mom has Type 1 so she has some understanding of what it is all about. She assured me that people would step up and I would find some buddies to help care for Addison at school.

I have been thinking about community a lot lately and how important it is to me. I feel very fortunate to have a great community of people I feel connected to both here in Seattle and online. Having a community of people who understand diabetes and can be supportive is especially important to me. I had the great honor this year to help out with a really important D community building project called ConnecT1D (pronounced connected). Started by a Seattle family, ConnecT1D is an interactive website meant to build support and community both online and off. It is currently geared towards people in the Seattle/Pacific NW region but they hope to expand it as the community grows. When I went to my first planning committee meeting, I was so moved and inspired by what they were doing. I also felt at home. Like I was truly with my people. If you have a chance, go and check out ConnecT1D. It is a great place to connect with others and find out what is happening around town. It is for everyone..PWD, PCWD, Teens with T1 D, Athletes with T1D...Go check it out!

If you live in Seattle, there is a fantastic even going on this Saturday Night - The School of Rock Zombie Prom! Organized by the group Rock Against Diabetes, this will be a super spooky fun night in Ballard that will not only rock your socks off but will also help to raise money for Rock Against Diabetes, ConnecT1D and The Pacific NW Diabetes Research Foundation. Good fun for a good cause and a great way to connect with the PNW T1D community. The link above will take you to their facebook page with all the details.

365:285 First Day of Preschool

2011-10-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

The Outdoor Classroom Tinkering Table

I get a little emotional at times. Like when we went to see Hubble 3D at the IMAX theatre with Addison. This was my first contemporary (prob the first 3D movie I have seen since Vincent Price's House of Wax) high tech 3D movie and I was so overwhelmed by the technology and the sharing of it with Addison I had tears streaming down my face. The same thing happened the first time I took Addison to a play. And the first time I showed him The Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special. I get a little emotional when it comes to firsts experienced with my little guy. First day of preschool was no exception. I think I got away with stealthily wiping the tears away before any of the other parents noticed but the tears were there.

Our first day was..amazing. I wish you could see this classroom in action. The sensory table was filled with water and clear gelatin spheres. There were things to scoop them and Addison immediately dived in and began pretending they were invisible people's eyeballs. The parent manning the sensory table was full on into having Addison and other kids take his "eyeballs" out, pretend he couldn't see and then have them give him new ones so he could see again. In another part of the room, there was a big maze made of mats standing tall and a basket of ornamental corn husks. Some of the kids hid the husks and themselves and played in the maze. The teacher was carving pumpkins and singing a delightful song about them. He had the kids getting their hands in the pumpkin guts, exploring, talking about how it felt and smelled. He let the kids take turns sawing the pumpkin with a pumpkin knife. I love that the kids here get to have their hands on real tools and learn how to use them safely. Addison had a smile on his face a mile wide all morning.

After clean up and snack there was circle time. Addison has never ever responded to circle time. In fact, it makes him kind of mad and frustrated. He just isn't a guy that likes to sit still and be quiet. We talked quite a bit how things would go at school and that circle time was a part of it. He seemed agreeable to giving it a try but I wasn't sure how it would go. Well, circle time was like no circle time I have ever been witness to. It wasn't all sitting and being quiet. At times it was loud and boisterous and silly. The kids got plenty of chances to have a say. There was a lot of laughter. It was a pleasure to see and Addison absolutely loved it.

Then it was small group activity time where the kids split up into small groups and joined a parent for a short, focused activity for a few minutes and then it was outside to the outdoor classroom. You can read more about the outdoor classroom here. I was told by one of the parents that the teachers philosophy is that there is no bad weather, only bad clothing. Yes, we will be going outside rain or shine. The outdoor classroom is truly magical. Addison made a bee line for a drum kit right in the center of everything and started banging on it while some other boys joined in by banging on a garbage can. I got to help set up the tinkering station where Addison spent most of his outdoor time. It was like a little laboratory with vinegar, baking soda, soap and watercolors. For the past couple of years, Addison has stuck to saying he wants to work in a lab with strange liquids for his future career. So, as you can imagine, he was in seventh heaven at the tinkering table.

As for D, well I was there so it was like doing anything else we do. Like taking any other class we take (soccer, circus class, art class etc). It was a decent D morning. Addison was running a tad high but all the activity brought things back into the zone. The school is completely on the same page with our own food philosophy. The parents rotate providing snack of fruits and veggies and there is a supply of carby snacks kept at the school. No sugary snacks allowed including the carb snacks they have a stash of. They of course understand the need to give Addison sugar for lows but I can expect good things on the table for snack time and nothing that I will worry too much about killing his BG! We broke out our scale at snack and the other kids were totally into it. One wanted to weigh his snack too!

It was a great morning.

365:284 Cupcake, meet scale. Scale, meet Cupcake.

2011-10-24T14:40:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah. I still use my scale. My SWAGGing (scientific wild ass guessing) abilities HAVE improved for sure but I still need assistance sometimes. We attended our first Halloween party. It was SO fun. Lots of running around. You feel thankful for cupcakes when all that running drops blood sugars.

365:283 The Constant Dining Companion

2011-10-22T09:13:00.000-07:00

I am a single parent this week. My husband has gone off to the East Coast to visit family and I am here holding down the West coast proverbial fort. I decided to take Addison out to dinner last night as a treat for both of us. I am thankful my little guy is an adventurous eater! We had the pleasure of eating at Luc, not too far from home. We got a special seat at the counter overlooking part of the kitchen and got to see our meal being made. We shared a yummy salad and Trout Amandine which Addison devoured with much gusto. He kept saying "I love trout! This is the best trout I have ever had!" Our waiter treated us like kings. I think he was pleased to be waiting on a trout-amandine-loving-4 year old. I was rather pleased with myself for not breaking out the scale to weigh the bread they brought with our dinner or the potatoes that came on our plate. You see, after 3 years, I am getting the hang of eyballing carbs. It feels good to be able to guess and guess right most of the time! It is funny though, to be out, and have my phone (my new iphone btw, which I am completely smitten with) AND the pump remote. There is a lot of pressing of buttons going on. I wonder what onlookers must think sometimes.

Considering (Pre)School

2011-10-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

Many of you who land here frequently know that we are a homeschooling family. At least so far in this parenting journey of 4.5 years. I have not given preschool any thought...until recently. You see, I stumbled across this blog and I read this post and I was ...inspired and curious. Here was this man, this teacher, talking about teaching kids, preschool kids in particular, and I was really kind of blown away by what he had to say. As I moved on from this post and started looking at his photos and reading about what he does with the kids at his school, it reminded of what we do at home but it was in the company of a group of other parents and children. Maybe, just maybe preschool was something to consider. I looked at where Teacher Tom is located and was surprisingly pleased to see he is in Seattle. I began following the trail online to find his school and get some more information. I made contact, was told they actually had an opening but also a long waiting list of interested families and that my chances were slim but stay in touch. A week later, I had made it to the short list and as of today Addison is enrolled! How crazy is that? Serendipitous? Maybe.

I am entering this new experience with slight trepidation AND excitement. It is a cooperative preschool so I am required to work there one day a week and then I can be there the other 2 if I want. I want, so that's extra cool for me. I am a little concerned about the germy-ness of preschool and how that will affect my health and Addison's. Mostly though, I have no idea how all the D care will go.When I toured the school, one of the parents I spoke with about Addison's care immediately volunteered to be my care buddy on the day she worked at school. A good sign to be sure of the nature of this community.

As a homeschooler at heart and still considering myself one (after all, as I have said before homeschooling comes in all shapes and sizes) I am looking forward to being part of a community of people teaching children and playing with children together. We have an orientation day of sorts this coming monday..I will keep you all posted on our new adventure.

365:282 Diabetes Recycled Contraptions

2011-10-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

Addison has his very own recycle bin in the craft area of our home. Whenever I am about to throw something into the recycling I ask myself Would this be good to make something out of? and if the YES lightbulb flashes before my eyes I toss it in Addison's basket. There is never a shortage of Diabetes recycling around here and it always turns into something interesting. The other day Addison made this contraption complete with hose connected to the glucose tab bottle. I loved how the legos and the recycling were used together...Awesome.

365:281 BG 62 (Hello Halloween Candy Stash!)

2011-10-18T09:20:00.001-07:00

365:280 A Good Day

2011-10-17T17:58:00.001-07:00

365:279 It Is Almost Here.....

2011-10-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

The excitement about Halloween has been present in our house for several weeks now. Addison's stealth Ninja costume arrived in mid September and he wore it every day for a week. We kept our tradition of perusing the Oriental Trading Company Catalogue and choosing a few non candy creepy crappy toys to give out on Halloween night. This year it will be neon sticky eyeballs and ninjas. However, this was the first year that Addison was freaking out (as in I-am-so-excited-I-might-pee-my-pants) about all the pictures of CANDY. Brain shaped lollypops, wax fangs, gummy worms etc. Of course, right? What kid wouldn't think all that looked absolutely to die for?! So, I agreed that Addison could pick out one candy item for our basket. We had a whole conversation about buying the all natural lollypops at our neighborhood food co-op but those just aren't as fun as a Bag of Bones, let's face it. So he chose Bag of Bones, a little pouch filled with multi-colored candy bones-skulls, femurs, rib cages. I have to say, they are pretty cool and tasty and oh so so bad for you. They are 17 carbs per pouch should you happen to be lucky enough to score some in your Halloween treat bag.

Halloween was scary in more ways than one when Addison was first diagnosed. He was only 15 months old so he wasn't going to be eating candy anyway. But the next year I was still a bit worried. As it turns out, there are other holidays way more tricky than Halloween. Most candies have straightforward carb counts. If you are in need of figuring them out, the JDRF has a great list right HERE. Addison trades most of his candy in for a toy of his choice and gets to pick a few treasures to keep and eat over a week or so. He doesn't get to stuff his face on Halloween night..unless of course he is running low. Which I believe he was last year. All that excitement and walking around the neighborhood tends to drive blood sugars down. It has worked out great and Addison is always happy at the end of the night. I love Halloween and I am glad that D does not get in the way of having fun and eating a bit of oh so bad for you candy. How about you? What does Halloween look like at your house?

365:278

2011-10-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

Held Hostage by a potential morning low

2011-10-11T09:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there is a fuzzy line between what you you feel like you are supposed to do and what you need to do when parenting a T1 child. Take this morning for example. Addison wakes up and is at a lovely 130. He takes a while to decide on what he wants for breakfast. Blood sugar is slowly going down but that's cool. He chooses a frozen waffle with maple and agave syrup. He should be at a perfect breakfast number when he starts to eat. Gotta love that! Waffle is toasted, buttered and syruped. Plate arrives at table. Mama, can I watch a video while I have my breakfast? No. You eat breakfast and you can watch a video when I go take a shower. No. I am not going to eat then until you take a shower. Then you won't have a video this morning. You have to eat before watching a video. This goes back and forth a bit, enough time passes that I feel I should check blood sugars. 108. Still great but he can absolutely NOT wait another 30-40 minutes to eat his breakfast. He WILL be low. That extra- stiff- breakfast- conquering -basal -rate is about to kick into full gear. Sigh.....Ok Addison. You can watch your video now with breakfast. Sometimes, the rules are fuzzy. You do what you have to do to keep your child safe. Even if it means breaking the rules.

No D Day...Ushering in Fall

2011-10-07T16:01:00.000-07:00

Hats of George over at Ninjabetic for reminding us to take a break from D for a day...

I wasn't really sure what I wanted to write about today. Or maybe I was. Too many ideas, too little time. So here is a visual of what we have been up to now that fall is upon us...

Frolicking in the park at dusk

Appreciating Nature...especially the trees..

Learning about how satellites stay in orbit....

and making drawings of them.

Getting inspired by the poetry of Calef Brown to make our own Duncan the Shrunken Head..

Playing Soccer

And last but not least, Addison received a camera for Christmas last winter from my parents. I thought he would enjoy going out on photo safaris with me. As it turns out, what he likes to use it for most is to make videos. He is always making videos! Most of them look like the Blair Witch Project with manic, crazed laughter as the soundtrack! I get a kick out of going through his videos and seeing what he has come up with. He took a bunch in our car apparently! He is very excited about Halloween and has been super into poetry so here is Addison's little arty poetry-creepy halloween-video. Brought to you straight from the backseat...

365:277 Lollypop Boosting

2011-10-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

Shortly after Addison was diagnosed, I felt particularly prickly towards banks and their giving out of lollypops to kids (do you not know MY KID HAS DIABETES FOR F*&CKS SAKE!). Any little bit of sugar sent Addison's blood sugars skyrocketing and besides, those bank lollipops are filled with all the stuff I try and keep out of my house. Flash forward to the present, 3.5 years after diagnosis. I now view bank lollypops as a fantastic bribe to get my child to a) come to the bank with me and b)actually behave while in the bank and then c) as an excellent low blood sugar treatment. Artificial ingredients be damned. We had some banking to do today and I let Addison pick out a lollypop. Good thing too. We went out for some Japanese food for lunch and in between banking and the arrival of lunch at the table Dexie was alerting with arrow going down and blood sugars needed a bit of boosting. Nothing like a bank lollypop appetizer before your tempura and miso soup arrives. Ahhh..how things have changed in just a few short years! I SWAG'd that whole meal plus lollypop too..no scales, no cheat sheets. Just did it by eyeballing and using that sixth D Parent sense. I am pleased to report, it ended well.

365:276 Carb Factoring

2011-09-30T13:56:00.001-07:00

365:275 Sometimes You Feel Like A Zombie Has Absconded With Your Brain....

2011-09-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

And sometimes you don't. Today, I don't. I feel rested. Well. Alert. Alive. I am thankful to my husband for giving me the night off last night. To rest. Recoup. Both Addison and I have been sick the past few days. No issues with D other than the normal shenanigans. It is just...exhausting sometimes. To have this diabetes thing constantly going on in your head (check BG, site change day? how many carbs again? lets see...178 divided by 965.....) and then you get sick on top of it...fugghetaboutit! Today though, my well rested body and brain got to really enjoy the day and with lovely friends to boot.

365:274 At the Crossing

2011-09-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

We have, literally, crossed over into new territory with treating lows. When we were in the hospital with Addison 3 years ago and we spent a week learning the ins and out of our new life as nurses, doctors, nutritionists & mathematicians, we were told that 15 carbs was the standard to treat a low. We learned very quickly on our own that 15 carbs is NOT the standard when you are talking about an infant/toddler. In fact, there is no real standard anything about D when a toddler is involved! They failed to mention that at the hospital I might add...Anyway, after much trial and error, we arrived at the numbers 4 or 5. That was all it took for a long long time to help Addison recover from a low. 4 or 5 carbs. And yes, that one carb could make a difference. It slowly eeked up to 7 carbs. Then 9. I have been buying juice boxes from the Whole Foods Market that are only 7-9 carbs because they are small and they have extra water to cut down on the sugar load. These have been perfection for carrying around in the ol supply bag, purse, library book bag etc. But all of a sudden, we are edging closer to 15 and my reduced carb juices just aren't cutting it. Addison was at 58 yesterday. It required one juice box (7) PLUS one glucose tab(4). Right. They did just tell us Addison grew 4 centimeters in 3 months. So, I may be able to use up the rest of my reduced carb juice stockpile with glucose tab chasers but I think it may be time to purchase some 15 carbers. We have moved up. We are now just about in the standard zone. Weird.

365:273 Autumnal Equinox

2011-09-24T11:02:00.000-07:00

We decided to celebrate the equinox this year by taking a walk in the woods and collecting things to make a shrine to honor the change in season. Our shrine was named "Acornville" by Addison and had elaborate pathways, traps, bridges etc for acorn friends to travel on. It was pretty cool.

Earlier in the day, we attended our first Art Discovery Program class at the Henry Art Gallery. I think I was probably more excited about it than Addison. I love being in art galleries. They are peaceful, introspective, holy places for me. Anyway, I went up to the instructors to introduce myself and let them know that Addison had T1 Diabetes and that I may need to give him food or drink in the gallery in the event of a low blood sugar. I didn't want to be scolded for going against the rules in case of an emergency! As I was explaining, a voice from behind me chimed in. It was Becky, another mom to a T1 D child. I had connected with Becky via our homeschool group but only online. When she introduced herself, I think I may have given her an overly enthusiastic hug. I have felt connected to her via the internet and meeting her live and in person was a real treat. We were in different groups for the class but at the end we sat together at the same table as our boys worked on their art projects. She confessed, her son had been rocking a 400 BG and wasn't in top form, I confessed that Addison had a low during class and he wasn't in top form either. Sighs were had. Nods. Understanding. There is nothing quite like that moment where you don't have to say too much but you know the other person fully and completely and deeply gets it.

City Side Night Out for Parents of Young Children With Type 1 Diabetes - Thursday September 22nd 7-9pm

2011-09-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

Do you live in Seattle (or close by)? Have young children with Type 1 Diabetes? Like beer (or wine or whiskey or even just soda)? Come on by the Elysian Brewery in Capitol Hill this Thursday September 22nd from 7-9pm for a couple of hours of to be in the company of other parents who get it!! We meet every month so if you can't make it this week, there is always October. We will be at the table with the syringe in the cup. As a side note, this IS Capitol Hill and the waitstaff usually doesn't even question our syringe in a cup..nice! Please RSVP if you can so we can secure a large enough table. iamyourpancreas(at)gmail(dot)com.

365:272 One of These Things is Not Like the Other (or why I can't shut up about Dexcom)

2011-09-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

Soo..here we are. I have lots to say about this and yet part of me feels like the best thing to do is to shut my trap and move on in silence. The 4th sensor did NOT do the trick last time and failed within 2 days. After a chat with someone at Dexcom, a loooooong chat btw, we put the sensor back on Addison's butt. It seems that when you have one out of 6 sensors in the arm that rocks, 1 that is so-so and the rest that just plain fail it might be time to admit that the arm wasn't all you thought it would be. The first butt sensor was just ok..it lasted about 6 days. The current one has been drifting a lot, as you can see from the photo above. We seem to be able to get it back on track for a bit and then it drifts. The arrow trends have not been entirely reliable either. Apparently, Addison's physiology is at fault, according to the Dexcom company. I guess I can't say much to that or do much about it! It just is what it is.

We have our 3 month Endo check in tomorrow and we will see if they have any enlightening advice to give us regarding Dex or our pump. Yes, the pump has been trying our patience too. We still have bubble problems almost daily that cause random highs. It has made it extremely difficult to make basal adjustments because half the time we see highs there are bubbles that need priming out. I usually feel good going into our Endo appointments, but this time, I have no idea what to expect. Diabetes has been a rude and unruly mo-fo these past few months and I have a feeling we may have a disappointing A1C to show for it. At least I can say, despite D being and A-hole, we have been having a good ol' time and it hasn't held us back from living the good life. We may be a little worse for wear in the sleep department but that is the only casualty and, actually, a pretty normal state to be in anyway around here!

365:271 Ebb and Flow

2011-09-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

365:270 Loner

2011-09-10T17:59:00.001-07:00

365:269 Not Back To School Day

2011-09-07T09:27:00.001-07:00

365:268 Indian Summer

2011-09-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

365:268 Another Shot in the Arm (and another and another and..)

2011-09-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

Don't get too distracted by that adorable kitten in the photo. Focus your eyeballs on that Dexcom arm site. You may remember, we switched to the arm from the butt almost two months ago now. You may remember the swooning and the victory dance or maybe the hallelujah chorus playing in the background...

Let me tell you a few things about it. Since the switch, Addison now allows us to insert the Dex site while he is awake. Rock on brave boy! This makes me happy because, although it is completely possible to do a night- time- while- sleeping -insertion, it made me really nervous. There is nothing like worrying your little one will have a spontaneous arm flail or roll over while you have a giant needle attached and ready to plunge into their arm. We had no mishaps, but it was always on my mind. We thought this whole arm switcheroo was THE answer to all the trouble we have been having with Dexie. Thought being the operative word here. Turns out, we are still having trouble. We had a couple of great sensors..one even lasted 10 days! (there is the chorus again and the light coming through the clouds) The rest though...pfffft. This morning, I had yet another Sensor Error#0. This is the third sensor in one week that has failed. This means, Addison has had to endure 3 insertions in one week. One of those made him cry like a baby because it was painful. I say to you Dexcom, no fair.

Dexcom has been great, replacing every sensor that fails/does not make it to the 7 day mark. For us, the track record remains that one out of every 4 works. That is a 75% failure rate. I always ask if they think it could be our transmitter and the answer is always no. The last time they said it could just be Addison's physiology. Hm. Whatever it is..physiology or bad luck..it is frustrating. Still, I will not give it up. Even though it failed this morning and had ??? for hours, it came back to life just for a brief moment and alerted me to a low that I would not have otherwise woken up for. Love. Hate. Love. Hate. That is how it rolls with Dexie around here. I am hoping that since we have had 3 failures, the site I put in today will be the 1 out of 4 that works. For Addison's sake and for mine!

365: 267 The New Lows

2011-09-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

For a moment yesterday, a sweet moment, Addison and I stopped and listened. We had just parked the car and there in front of us were these sweet guys, sitting on a park bench, practicing some tunes via Ukulele and Tuba. Now that is something you don't see everyday..a Uke and Tuba duo. As some of you know, I have a sweet spot in my heart for Ukuleles so I was immediately drawn in. These two may very well be the nicest park practicing musicians I have ever met. They welcomed us in, sang us a tune and even gave Addison a shaker to be part of their band. Could not have been sweeter.

It was nice to have a moment of distraction. The past 3 days I have been on high diabetes alert. We changed a site and all of a sudden it seems we had changed everything. Hello after breakfast mega-spike followed by Mr. Mega Fast Blood Sugar Drop. Oh, and let us not forget Ms. I Am Going to Drive Your Blood Sugars Low All the Rest of the Afternoon Too. One more friend to mention (or maybe I should say foe) Mrs. I Will Make You Low During the Wee Hours of the Night. All these unwanted D visitors are taking their toll on me. The morning fast drop has been the worst. We have not experienced lows like this for a long time. The first one showed up a few weeks ago when a friend was watching Addison. My friend called in me in a panic because Addison was crashing fast and refusing to take anything to get him up. I raced home in a panic hoping I would get there before Addison was unconscious! It was all a bit traumatic but everything ended up ok. If that crazy drop taught us anything it was that Addison's brain goes fuzzy during a fast drop. He gets very confused and it takes some calm talking and mentioning of glucagon to get him to take something to bring him up. For the past three days, I have been dealing with an early morning fast drop (like 100 points of BG in 20 minutes) and having to twice squeeze a honey stick into Addison's mouth because it is the only thing that I can kind of sort of convince him to have! I am sure it must be so frustrating to have someone forcing something down your throat, especially if you are not hungry and you feel totally confused and agitated.

Imagine this scenario if you will: yesterday I had to go pick up some paint for a house project. We were at the paint store waiting at the counter. When we arrived, Addison was at 180. I told him he should have a snack, seeing an arrow going down and knowing what the past couple of days had been like. He started getting cranky. Said he didn't want any of the snacks I brought. No juice. No glucose tabs. No nothing. Mama, why did you only bring 4 snacks! You should have brought MORE! I don't want ANYTHING! That is when I knew something was going down. We had been there about 10 minutes and I checked him again. 100. Right after a check, Dexie starts vibrating and beeping with double arrows down. I finally convince him to have a honey stick but I, of course, had left my scissors at home. I have been carrying scissors around in my dbag with honey sticks for these very emergencies..but not today of course! So, I ask the counter folk for some scissors. Nope. They pull out an exacto knife, slice off the top and we were in business. The woman behind the counter looks at me with a genuinely heartbroken look and comments You are a great mom! Just doing what I need to do lady! Addison came up and all was better.

When life hands you problematic lows, I say, go out for Pizza. So we did. I mean, hell, why not take advantage of those pesky afternoon lows?

I have been sticking to the 3 day rule and not making any changes until I was sure this was a solid pattern. And it was. So I made a change this morning and we will see how it goes. I am hoping we can shoo our unwanted visitors out of our house before the weekend is out.

365:266 Diabetes Art Day 2011

2011-09-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

We started off our diabetes art day inspired by Mr. Mike Lawson's video of his art project using spent syringes as paint projection vessels. Addison was SO excited to try it out. Since we don't use syringes normally, we decided to use one of the insulin cartridges for his pump. From there, he used spent infusion sets dipped in paint and not only stamped paint with them but he also discovered it was fun to cock them and then squeeze to use them to shoot paint onto the paper....As for me, well, I was itching to use my new glue gun. I just got one this week and I can't stop gluing stuff!! Yeehaw! I love me some glue gun! Ahem..As I was saying, we spent our whole morning outside making stuff with our diabetes supplies. Thank you Lee Ann for another great Diabetes Art Day! You can check out all the amazing creations of the day right HERE! And here are our contributions...

Art By Addison....

Art by Me......

365:265 JDRF Promise To Remember Me

2011-08-31T20:24:00.000-07:00

365:264 Last Day of Camp

2011-08-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

My heart always aches a little bit at the end of summer. We spent the last 8 fridays at our most favorite Seattle park exploring various habitats, hiking in the woods and being under the supervision of the most wonderful camp leader. I actually felt melancholy today as we said goodbye on the last day of camp. It has made me realize that as long as I can bear the weather, we need to go out into the woods once a week. It is truly soul satisfying....

Michelle you are a Winner!

2011-08-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all for entering my little Sugar Bolus giveaway. The lucky winner is Michelle..Please email me at iamyourpancreas(at) gmail(dot)com with your full name and address within in the next 48 hours so we can get your Glucolift Tabs out to you post haste!

365:263 Blueberries for Addison

2011-08-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

Here is our blueberry tart...

And here is where the blueberries came from....

In true PNW style, we drove through mist and rain, started picking with our raincoats on and were stripped down to tank tops and flip flops by the journey home! I was absolutely prepared to SWAG for any blueberries eaten along the picking path but to my surprise, Addison was very concerned about having enough berries for our tart and did not want to eat any before we got home! I had to practically force him to try one while we were out in the fields! Sweet boy.

It was a lovely day. And a lovely and delicious tart too...

I don't think I am ready for summer to end.

365:262 Swimming

2011-08-21T09:53:00.000-07:00

Sugar Bolus Giveaway - Something to give you a (gluco)Lift!

2011-08-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

For the past several years I have been downright irritated about glucose tabs. You see, I am not really a big fan of artificial stuff. I check ingredient labels carefully, do my homework and make sure I am not buying anything with artificial colors, flavors or sugars. I feel a little suspicious of them. Sure, I ate plenty of the stuff growing up (mmmm..giant sweet tarts!) and I seem to be fine (or am I?!) but I just don't really feel good about consuming artificial ingredients or giving them to my son.

When Addison was diagnosed and we were introduced to glucose tabs, he was 15 months old. Those suckers were too big for him and the artificial ingredients really irked me. So, I stashed them in our diabetes drawer and kind of forgot about them. About a year ago, Addison was having a low and refusing anything I would normally give him. No juice. No honey or maple syrup. No fruit bar. So, thinking on my feet, I offered up a glucose tab and that did the trick. To my dismay, the lows that came after this one now had Addison begging for glucose tabs. He was having a lot of lows and therefore a lot of tabs and I was not feeling good about all the artificial stuff he was putting into his body. This reignited my ranting about glucose tabs - why on earth isn't there a natural glucose tab? can it be that hard to make? please, someone out there make one! I could be seen saying this aloud to no one in particular like a crazy person.

Then, a few weeks ago something beautiful popped up on facebook...GlucoLift. Lo and behold, freaking FINALLY an all natural glucose tab! I was literally jumping up and down. Not only are these all natural, meaning no artificial colors or flavors, but their dextrose is free of GMO's. Double bonus.

But do they taste good? Hell yes! Addison had a couple of lows in a row and was pretty exctied to try all three flavors - Orange Cream, Cherry and Wildberry. He gave all three the thumbs up and deemed Orange Cream his fave. I tried them too and I have to say, they are super yummy. They don't make your mouth feel chalky like some other glucose tabs do and the flavor of all three is really nice. Plus..look at that packaging! Big love for GlucoLift all around.

Would you like to try some? Leave me a comment before midnight on August 25th and you can win yourself a box with a jar of each flavor. If you don't end up being the lucky winner you can always purchase some GlucoLift tabs online at Amazon.com. Here are the rules:

To enter the giveaway – leave me a comment before midni1ght on Thursday, August 25th. Include your first name .
To earn extra entries (post a separate comment for each):
     ● Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter, and leave me an additional comment.
     ● Share a link to this contest on Facebook, and leave an additional comment here to let me know.
     ● Blog about this contest, and post a link to your blog here.
       ● Subscribe to my blog via WordPress or email.
Winners will be selected via random draw at http://www.random.org/, and names will be posted here on this blog on Friday, August 26th. After winners’ names are posted, winners will have 48 hours to send a message to me at iamyourpancreas (at) gmail (dot) com. If I do not hear from the winner within 48 hours, I will select a new winner.

365:261 Security Blanket

2011-08-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

365:260 This is What Homeschool Looks Like

2011-08-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by Amy and Amy yesterday to take a photo of our afternoon project. For you see, homeschooling takes so many different shapes and forms. I love that about it. Addison got inspired by this pizza box from the night before (and what a looooong night it was..but that is another story). This box had a whole story about the Pacific NW and trees and recycling (hello science!) on its cover. Addison decided he was going to make a "model" and gathered a bucket full of craft supplies and settled down in the sunshine on our front porch. The letter transferring and gluing began (hello art! hello short vowel sounds! hello letter recognition!). I loved how this just came about spontaneously and naturally and that it was part of our every day life. I am not always 100% sure about homeschooling. I have moments where I wonder if Addison might be better off at regular school or if I might just loose my mind being at home with a 4.5 year old (who talks incessantly btw) day in and day out! Mostly though, I love the freedom that homeschooling allows us. We get to do everything at our own pace and on our own terms. Everything is a learning opportunity and that makes the world a pretty exciting place. These early years, as challenging as they may be sometimes, are pretty fantastical. I feel honored to get to be part of Addison's world every day. I hope to write more about our homeschooling adventures this year....

I Am Your Pancreas: City Side Night Out for Parents of Young Children ...A REPOST with the correct date!

2011-08-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

I somehow had this posted up as July and even though I re-read it one million times I did not see the error of my ways. Please join us THIS thursday.

I Am Your Pancreas: City Side Night Out for Parents of Young Children ...: "Please join us for what we hope will continue to be a monthly get together for parents of young children with diabetes in Central Seattle...."

365:259 We Are So Small

2011-08-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

City Side Night Out for Parents of Young Children with Diabetes Thursday August 18th

2011-08-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

Please join us for what we hope will continue to be a monthly get together for parents of young children with diabetes in Central Seattle.
When: Thursday August 18th 7-9pm
Where: The Elysian Brewery on Pike Street in Capitol Hill
How to find us: Look for the table with a syringe in a cup!

This is an informal gathering for parents only to hang out, share resources, support one another and relax!
We had a great time last month, we hope you are able to join us! Please let us know if you plan on joining us so we can reserve an appropriate sized table! iamyourpancreas(at)gmail(dot)com

365:258 In the Gutter

2011-08-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

365:257 Delivering

2011-08-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

365:256 A Shot in the Arm

2011-08-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

That thing is hanging on by a thread but DAMNIT it is working so well..quick, get some more tape!

What do you do when your Endocrine team tells you one thing and the real live Parent Pancreas' you know tell you the opposite? Whose advice are you going to follow? We have had huge struggles with the Dexcom 7 since we started using is several months ago. I have had about 80% of my sensors replaced because they just weren't working properly. I have called Dexcom tech support and solicited the advice of my Endocrine team. Dexcom, although quite nice on the phone, could't give me any answers or real advice. I kept asking our Endocrine team about changing where we put the sensor but they really discouraged us from using any other real estate besides the butt. They kept telling us that Addison didn't have enough fat anywhere else. The D parents I know, on the other hand, have been recommending that we try using Addison's arms instead of his butt. They have all said that their children have small arms too but it is not a problem and that the arm sites rock. I was skeptical. Addison's arms seem SOO small! It just seemed wrong to put a sensor there. Then..there was Kristin and Erik. You see, they are my neighbors. After a couple of beers, they kindly took me to their house and brought me into the room of their sleeping little guy Luke who is a bit younger than Addison. There he was, looking so sweet, sleeping away with his Dex site neatly situated on his little arm. It went against everything the Endocrine team had told me but there it was..working like a charm on a little arm (hey, I made a rhyme!). They sent me home with some Flexfix and some arm insertion tips. So, next sensor change I told Addison I was going to try the arm. He was skeptical too. And scared. I told him I would do it while he slept and the thought that sounded a-ok!

I followed Kristin and Erik's instructions, used the back of the arm, pinched up the skin, angled the inserter slightly and BAM, it was in there. Looking great. How did it work? I have to say, I DO like that arm site. We had one little ??? moment that didn't last for too long when he was sleeping on his arm and the rest of the time that thing was pretty damn accurate. AND, it lasted for 10 days. It probably could have gone a full 14 but it was really coming off.

Addison is still kind of freaked out about the whole arm insertion thing. He didn't want me to take it out while he was awake either. But, he says it feels just fine once it is in there. We are on our 2nd arm site and all is still going well. I think we will stick with this arm site thing. I am so glad we finally tried it.

365:255 Lakeside

2011-08-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

Better Late than Never..July Blogger Basal!

2011-08-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

We have had a slow start to the summer here in the PNW weather-wise but my summer has been in high gear with camp, play dates, backyard camping and day hikes! I have been shying away from the computer or maybe it is that I have been so busy I just can't seem to get to it. Fortunately, many of you are still keeping us up to date on your summers. Here is ~~this~~ last month's round up of the haps around the DOC....

Camp!
Diane D of Our Type 1 Trip had a wonderful time at Camp Conrad Chinnock and found great joy and comfort in the "sameness" at Diabetes camp.

Amy at Diapeepees schooled some preschoolers in the midst of some diabetes distractions at Vacation Bible School.

Sarah of The Ethan and Isaac Show helped show some parents of newly diagnosed T1 kids that they can do it and it WILL be ok at Little Kids Camp.

Reyna at Beta Buddies helped Joe prepare for Hockey Camp.

New Pumps!
After much hard work, Cara FINALLY has her pink pump in hand! Bravo Nicole!!

Ellie has been doing an Omnipod trial and made a fantastic video of a pod change with her mom Amy.

Looking Forward, Looking Back, Sharing Dreams, Reflecting..
Wendy had a dream about a world where everyone has Type 1 Diabetes. It is actually pretty magical!

Meri waxed poetic about Diabetes as a Sailboat on the 13th year Diaversary of her son.

Tracy remained hopeful on the Superhero's 3rd Diaversary.

Laura shared the story of her great strength and the heavy emotions of parenting two children with two separate illnesses.

Lora reflects on where she is now and how far she has come since Justin's diagnosis.

Hallie asked What do you do when (your T1 kids) start becoming aware and verbalizing that they are different and they don't like it?

3 months into her second child's diagnosis, Heather talks about how some days are harder than others when you see your kids struggle day in and day out.

Helping Hands
Both Misty and Denise shared beautiful stories about siblings taking charge and stepping in to help out with D.

Bean's friend G offered her help testing blood sugars. THAT is true friendship!

Alexis pays tribute to her husband, partner, best friend and biggest D supporter.

Rocking BG!
Leighann rocked Q's BG all day on her special day (Happy Belated Birthday Q!)

To Put a Smile on Your Face...
Both Amy and Kristin want you to know that there is a Rumble in the Kitchen!

At the end of your day, you might want to go rock out to "Me and My Dexcom Down by the Schoolyard" with Joanne the Accidental Pancreas!

Thanks to everyone who contributed! If I missed anyone, please drop me a line and I will put you in!

365:254 & Blogger Basal

2011-07-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

Sooo...I am a little behind schedule but I have not forgotten...I am the host of the Blogger Basal this month which, as you know, is rapidly coming to a close! If you would like a post included, please send me a link at iamyourpancreas (at) gmail (dot) com.

365:253 Parents Night Out

2011-07-21T07:16:00.003-07:00

365:252 Half of a Half

2011-07-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

I realize that most of the country is in the death grip of a nasty heatwave but here in the PNW we are having below normal temperatures. With the shift back to fall like weather, Addison's blood sugars have been just plain weird. Instead of those nice relatively steady patterns we are seeing huge ups and downs again. For example, I met with someone in the Seattle Diabetes community yesterday and had Addison along for the ride. I told him he could have donut as a treat. Before we left, BG was 160 with plenty of IOB. When we arrived, Dexie was beeping and showing 300 double arrows up. WTF? I mean, really? All he had was some melon which never, ever, EVER makes him spike. I will say it again. Never! A finger check showed dex to be not too far off so I told Addison he could have half the donut and I immediately bolused for what he was about to shove in his mouth! We packed up other half for later. It took a bit of time and an increased basal (hellooo evil donut) but he came down and then wanted more donut. I didn't want a repeat of earlier so I cut the half in half and gave it to him. A meltdown ensued as I handed him his half of a half and took a bite of the other piece myself. I had to put my piece down and agree to save it for him for later in order to calm the waters. And there it is. He forgot about it and I think I should go compost it now that it is resembling a rock more than a donut.

City Side Night Out for Parents of Young Children with Diabetes Wednesday July 20th!

2011-07-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

I am always wondering why there aren't more (or ANY) meetups for PCWD's in Seattle proper. There are some of you out there...right?! Amy (Free Snack) and I decided it was high time that us parents took a night off to hang out, sling back a few stiff drinks (or sodas if you prefer!) and support one another in our journey as parents of young children with diabetes.

Please join us on Wednesday July 20th from 7-9pm at The Elysian Brewery in Seattle's Capitol Hill. Both Mama's AND Papa's are welcome. Look for the table with the syringe and that is where you will find us.

365:251 Summer So Far

2011-07-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

I was thinking this morning about how this summer in Seattle is much like Addison's blood sugars. So far, we have had one brilliant week of beautiful, warm summer weather and the rest has been..frustratingly grey, chilly and rainy. Addison's one week of beautiful blood sugars and a Dexcom sensor that was dead accurate coincided with the one week of sun and warmth and the rest of the time has been..frustrating. Coincidence? Who knows. All I know is I hate seeing the ups and downs, hearing the dexcom vibrating and priming bubbles constantly out of tubing. There is absolutely no way I would go back to shots for Addison (unless I really had to) but all his equipment has really been bringing me (and him) down. I just could not go back to those days of lantus. Once it is in there, it's in there. No turning the basal down or up for that matter as needed. I appreciate our pump for that. No glancing at a graph in the middle of the night to see a holding steady arrow followed by a lovely restful sleep. Damn you D gadgets..you are a blessing AND a curse.

Let me tell you about what we have been up to so you don't think we sit around fretting over our D devices all the day long. We have been playing outside, painting, making bubbles, riding bikes, setting up playmobil "shows", hanging out with friends and going out to eat more than usual lately. We are lucky to have city chock full of wonderful places to eat out. Our insulin SWAGing has gone moderately ok for all of our outings minus a little mishap last night where pizza landed us in the 400's for a little bit (and we thought we had conquered that beast! Ah well!) Addison LOVES going out for a meal. He is an adventurous eater and will try almost anything. One of our former employees just opened a wonderful restaurant with her husband in Seattle's Beacon Hill neighborhood. Of all the choices for wood fired pizza, Addison chose one with zucchini flowers, roasted zucchini, carmelized onions and grana. The kid has some gourmet chops no doubt! Addison also started a day nature camp that meets once a week at one of our favorite parks in Seattle. I get to participate with him, which is great for me and he absolutely loves it. This past week we hiked through the woods spraying ferns and plants to find spiderwebs, went to a secret forest room and read a Nikki McLure story, collected and identified pine cones and pretended to be owls and mice. It is pretty swell. I have been absent from the computer because we have been so busy and I have been choosing sleeping in rather than getting up early to write. I have to say, I have been enjoying taking a little break.

Here are some photos from out culinary outing to Beacon Hill last night. Hope all of your summers are going well. Stay tuned Seattlites...the first ever D Parents Night Out is coming up. More details SOON!

365:250 SWAG'ing Banana French Toast in Caramel Sauce

2011-07-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

365:249 Waterproof

2011-07-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons we chose our Animas Ping pump was for its waterproof-ness. It is pretty cool to not have to worry about the pump going wherever Addison goes..even the pool or the lake.

365:248 24 Hrs. No Complaints

2011-07-06T10:51:00.000-07:00

Just so you don't think I complain all the time..Not only have we had fantastic numbers the past 24 hours but our sensor has been (I am almost afraid to say it out loud) right on. It has been a long time since we had an accurate sensor AND blood sugars that didn't look like a crazy roller coaster ride from hell. Only 24 hours, I know, but I will take it!

365:247 Prime Real Estate

2011-07-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

Wayne's World Friday - Pump vs. Pancreas

2011-07-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

You may not know this about me but I love graphic design and there may have been one point where I thought I may want to go back to school for it. My friend Wayne keeps sending things my way and whenever I open my mailbox and see one of his creations, I get a little teary eyed and often have to say out lout how awesome his artwork is. Because, well, it really is. Here is his latest. You can visit Wayne and his wife Amy at Free Snack. Without further ado.....

365:246 And I WILL Eat them on a Boat or D Boy vs. Croissant

2011-06-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

We went to a Floating Farmer's Market today aboard the Virginia V on South Lake Union. It was super fun. We perused the produce and baked goods and got to eat our snacks right on the ol' steamboat with a stellar view of Lake Union. We managed to bolus just right for this delicious ham and cheese croissant..Double thumbs up!

Oregon Coast Mini-Vacay

2011-06-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

I feel as if I am really getting the hang of traveling with D. So far, I have managed to have everything I need and then some for supplies. I have learned that blood sugars will most likely go crazy on vacation and I can be ok with that. I have learned not to depend on Dexie while away and not to get enraged when he decides to slack off or fail entirely (hello sensor failure on day of arrival!). I am so working on my "oh well" attitude with that particular piece of diabetes technology, it is key to enjoying a vacation. The single most important thing to remember about vacation with D...vacation first D second..at least whenever possible. I know that sometimes D stands up and insists it be heard over the magnitude of fun you may be having and that really, really bites. There are times it just cannot be ignored. Luckily, D was only mildly meddlesome this vacation and we managed to keep it in the background most of the time.

I was feeling very, very appreciative of my neck of the woods this weekend. Even though the Oregon coast is a 5 hour drive from home, it is worth every second when you step out on the soft sandy beach and look out at the horizon. We had lovely weather and enjoyed not only the scenic coast but also the fine company of my best gal pal and her family. We made a stop in Astoria, Oregon on the way back to have lunch at our favorite little brewery. I got to drink some beer made with the tips of spruce trees (so very, very Pacific NW) and I have to say it was the perfect end to a perfect mini vacation.

365:245 Building Confidence

2011-06-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

I cannot rave enough about SANCA's Circus Classes for children here in Seattle. Addison would never have even tried getting up on the trapeze several months ago and now look! His beloved coach Izzy (left) has helped him gain confidence in his body and she is always reinforcing that "can do" attitude.We all need a Coach Izzy!

365:244 A D Day at the Park

2011-06-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

Pinch me, I may be dreaming! I had the great pleasure of worlds colliding yesterday. Worlds colliding in a very, very good way not a bad-Seinfeld-kind-of-way! You see that photo above with all those adorable kids? Do you recognize any of them? Besides my own you will see the children of Sarah over at The Ethan and Isaac Show as well as those of Wendy from Candy Hearts. I have the good fortune of Sarah only living half an hour away from me so I get to see her from time to time (thank you Sarah for being the driver you are :) Wendy though..she lives a million miles away from me. Well, maybe not a million but Arizona IS pretty far away from Seattle. I have known Wendy online for quite some time now. I knew I would meet Wendy someday but I had no idea it would be on my own Seattle turf. Lucky for me, she was in my town for a wedding and I got to hug her and hang out with her and her kids at one of my favorite parks yesterday.

Meeting someone you have only known online is simultaneously weird and totally normal. I was sitting in Victrola, waiting for Wendy and girls and all of a sudden, there they were. I was looking at the real Wendy and the real Sugar, Tink and Tiara right in front of me outside the window. I can't really explain it but it just seemed so normal to see them there and it made me extremely happy. We had some coffees and teas and headed out to Volunteer Park just down the road. I am still smiling thinking about Wendy's girls marveling at the trees and pinecones and sticks and "rats with tails" (ie squirrels) ----things they don't normally encounter in Arizona! Things I take for granted here in the Pacific NW.

Being with other D families is comforting. We were all doing finger checks. Sugar was feeling low. Addison was super high and feeling grumpy. Isaac's finger wouldn't stop bleeding after a finger check. When I told Wendy and Sarah that Addison wasn't feeling good because of his high I knew they really understood what I was talking about. I have been having a really hard time with D lately. And I have to admit, when Addison was at 350 and melting down because his boots felt too Sandy and had to sit and cry on me for 20 minutes or more I was ...resentful and angry. I would not let him see that I was feeling those things of course but inside I was. I just wanted him to feel good and have fun. I just wanted to be able to hang out with my friends and chat because there were only here for a few hours. I just wanted to D to give us a break just for a little while. I felt so badly for Addison because I knew the high was bringing him down and there was nothing I could do about it except wait for the correction to kick in and comfort him. Eventually, he came down and felt better and before I knew it, he was collecting sticks with Tiara and drawing in the sand with her.

Diabetes does not bring me or Addison much pleasure but we try really, really hard not to let it get in our way. Most of the time, we do pretty good I have to say. It may seem the opposite because I get to talk about the frustrations here but we live a pretty damn good life despite D. If it weren't for D though, I would not have had the pleasure of meeting so many incredible parents and children like Sarah and Wendy and their families. It is one good thing that D has brought my way. I will leave you with a few photos from our visit....

D Mamas and Their D Kids! Sarah, Isaac, Me, Addison, Wendy & Sugar

Finger Check

Addison and Tiara

Park Day Still Life - water, partially eaten apple, found stick and D Supply Bag

365:243 A (crazy) Day at the Beach

2011-06-22T17:59:00.000-07:00

It was an absolutely perfect first day of summer yesterday. Blue skies and 77 degrees..could not have been more lovely!! We had lots of outdoor plans going on. First a trip to the beach to meet Amy and Cooper then I would be hosting our usual Tuesday afternoon playgroup at my home this week. Fun, right?!

Well, it was fun but Diabetes really kicked my ass yesterday. It was fucking with me big time and I don't use that word lightly.

Scenario number 1. I am sitting in a beach chair chatting with Amy watching our boys run in and out of the water and all over the beach. It has been a while since I checked Addison. BUT, he has dexie neatly sealed in a little waterproof bag (thank you Spibelt) and it is safe and sound in his pocket. I was feeling relaxed knowing dexie would alert me if something was up. BUT, I decided to check anyway. Call it mothers instinct. I go down to the beach, feel in Addison's pocket for dexie. Nothing there. Hm. Maybe it is in the other pocket. Nope. Time for mama to get her freak on! After barraging Addison with questions Did you feel it fall out? How long has it been missing? Do you remember ANYTHING?!!!! We go on a mission to find it. It is nowhere in sight. The beach has become more crowded. It could be anywhere! It could be at the bottom of the lake! I can see my bank account getting smaller!!! Then, in a haze of panic I take Addison back to the blanket to test him. As soon as we get there, he lies down and starts whimpering. I check him. 36. WHAAAAAT! CRAAAAP! I feel blind without dexie. What if he is double arrows down and I don't know it? I give him juice then 2 glucose tabs just to be safe. He seems really out of it. I forgot to mention that he was at 300 just about an hour before that. As I am taking care of Addison, Cooper comes over shouting "I found it!" and hands me Dexie safe and sound. I give him a giant hug!! Amy may think I am a complete freak show at this point!!!! Soooo. Addison came up. Found Dexie. My insides are a bit mushy from it all but crisis averted and everything is a ok.

Scenario number 2, later in the afternoon about 5 minutes before our play guests arrive. After the 36 and over treating, Addison's blood sugar goes back up again. I have been having trouble the past couple of days with his numbers as I mentioned yesterday. I go to check the tubing and there is a bubble so I prime it out. It takes a lot of priming so I end up draining the cartridge and needing to fill a new one. Fine. I fill a new one. I am looking all mad scientist as my friends show up and I greet them with my vial of insulin in one hand and long pointy cartridge needle in the other. I tell them I will be right out. I can hear Addison and his friend already having a tussle outside and I struggle to get the cartridge ready asap. My vial is also almost empty. I have just enough to fill the cartridge but it takes 25 units to prime the already primed tube. I know this is not right so I start over. BUT I now need a new vial of room temperature insulin and the only new vial is cold in the fridge. Let's just say it took me 40 MINUTES to get Addison's cartridge set up. It turns out, something wasn't working with the old tube so I needed to set up a new one. I end up shooting a site into a random stuffed animal to get a new tube from it. It all worked out, he was reconnected and everything was fine. Again. BUT, dexie was reading he was HIGH and he wasn't. I waited for dexie to show and actual number and the holding steady arrow and then I re-calibrated it. It gave me the dexie middle finger - SENSOR ERROR#1. Really?

I was pretty done with all of the technology at this point. I told my husband I was ready to go back to shots. But you know, I am not really. When it all works it is wonderful. I did re-insert dexie last night while Addison was sleeping. I woke up to ??? this morning and just sighed. I am not giving up on our high tech diabetes tools, but I am not feeling the love right now.

365:242 Bubble Ninja

2011-06-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

I think Summer is trying really, really hard to show her face here in Seattle. There is actually sunshine this week and today may even be over 70 degrees (cross fingers, knock on freakin wood). Man, I can't even begin to tell you how depressing the weather has been here this past year. I told my husband we may have to move if this continues. Either that or I have to take regular trips to where it is dry and warm (hellooooo Arizona and California friends!).

Addison and I had fun frolicking in the early evening sunshine yesterday. We made bubbles and then Addison sliced them with his foam sword. We called it "Bubble Ninja" (kind of like Fruit Ninja, if you know what I mean). Blood sugars ran high all day yesterday after a good run of numbers lately. We did a site change and will see what today brings. After our 3 day, much needed, Dexie break, I decided to turn the high alarm OFF. Probably the best thing I have done in a while. I realized that I don't need Dexie screaming at me when Addison is high. Thank goodness because it would have been alarming off the hook all day yesterday, annoying both me AND Addison to no end. I do however need and want to know when Addison is low or dropping fast so the low alarm and double arrows down alarm aren't going anywhere! Love them even when they annoy me! We often talk to Dexie when it alarms "Yes Dexie, we know. " Sometimes we say this in a kind and gentle voice and other times with a growly and aggravated voice. I am hoping that less alarms and less talking to Dexie will put it a little more in the background so we can enjoy our summer days in a more carefree sort of way.

Here are some more photos of the proof that summer will indeed be here soon. Happy Solstice!

Flowers blooming!

Slice of blue sky!

Bubbles!

Bubble Ninja!

365:241 Dexie Break

2011-06-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

We took a little break from Dexie for a few days. It was surprisingly...restful.

Wayne's World Wednesday-Love

2011-06-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

*Art by Wayne Laybourn. Please visit the very wonderful blog Free Snack where Wayne and his lovely wife Amy get creative!

365:240 Looking Up and Away

2011-06-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

We were trying to have lunch and get ready to go out for an adventure and D reared its ugly head. Addison with dropping blood sugar + trying to have a meal = disaster. I made him a sandwich which he insisted was "wet" So, I made him another one and that one was apparently "wet" too (even though I made sure every single bit about it was DRY! His BG started off in an ok but slightly low place. He would have been fine if had just eaten the first sandwich. But since he didn't, and then didn't eat the second one OR the banana I put in front of him his BG just continued to drop. Then, of course, Dexie chimed in. Buzz! Buzz! BEEP BEEP! This pissed Addison off BIG TIME. He smacked the Dexie pouch around his waste and stretched out the pack almost down to his knees. His face was red and was MAD. Mad at Dexie for annoying him even further. *Sigh* It is in these moments where you wonder if the technology is helpful or not. I mean, I know it is most of the time but sometimes you want to chuck that damn thing out the window. I can only imagine how frustrated Addison felt with his blood sugar dropping and Dexie rubbing it in his face.

Everything worked out in the end. Addison ate. Blood sugar came back up. Our adventure began. We hopped on the bus and went downtown to the very cool Seattle Central Library. I had a moment with my camera where I looked up. It was a moment of calm. Feeling part of the urban landscape. Enjoying the buildings and not thinking about D. Thank you camera. Thank you downtown Seattle.

365:239 Leap of Faith

2011-06-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

I like to joke around that my house is in the ghetto. Truth be told, I love my neighborhood but it is one of those neighborhoods that some people like to refer to as "transitional" and others might call "diverse" (although it is getting less and less so). I suppose some might call it just plain "bad" which always makes me laugh. I grew up in a city where the "bad" neighborhood was truly gritty and urban "bad". We are talking drug deals on the corners, kids with guns, buildings in decay (wait, sounds like my current neighborhood!). It was the kind of bad neighborhood where if you had to ever drive through it (which hopefully for you, you didn't) you made sure your doors were locked, windows were up and your eyes were straight ahead at all times. Mind your business, get yourself through as fast as possible and breathe a sigh of relief when you were out of it. My Seattle neighborhood is like Mayberry in comparison! There are many things I love about my hood but one thing in particular is my wonderful neighbors. It is not uncommon to walk down the street and say hello to several people you know on the street as they walk their dog, tend to their yard or watch their kids play. We have an older neighbor who brings over treats for Addison and stops in several times a week just to say hello and see how we are doing. Yesterday though, something new happened. We have a family across the way that has two young children. One is just about a year older than Addison. They were outside doing some gardening when we got home and we popped over to say hi. Addison and their little girl were off to the yard to play in the sandbox and the mom's offered to have Addison stay and play. They know about Addison's diabetes although they don't know how to care for any of his D needs. I could have, of course, stayed and hung about but leaving Addison to play without me hovering seemed like the right thing to do. I have to say, I would not have done this without Dexie. As much as I loathe that thing sometimes, moments like yesterday make me eternally thankful we have it around. So, I checked Dexie and BG was a little high but he had plenty of IOB. So, I left. I know, I know..he was just across the street. But for me, leaving, walking away, going to my house without my little guy was a HUGE leap of faith. Once at home I felt fidgety. I had a million things I could do but I felt so weird being at home and having Addison playing across the street with people who couldn't test blood sugars. In fact, I had all the supplies with me over at my house. I never, EVER would have done this a year ago. I am not sure I would have done this now if it weren't for my security blanket Dexie.

Addison spent almost 2 hours at my neighbors. He had a blast. In fact, when I went over to try and get him to come home for dinner he told me he wasn't ready to go and that I should go back home!! When he finally did come home, he was at a nice 130. As for me, I got a crap ton of cleaning done, made dinner and got to enjoy a little peace and quiet in the house. It was wonderful!

You CAN Do This

2011-06-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

"You Can Do This" is a phrase I have to repeat to myself a lot every since Addison was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in 2008. I had to convince my squeemish-blood fearing-needle fearing-self that I actually could prick my son's fingers multiple times a day and administer injections of insulin. I had to tell myself "You Can Do This!" the very first time I plunged a needle into his stomach at the hospital with shaky hands and tears streaming down my face. I have had to tell myself "You Can Do This" while holding my son down and forcing honey down his throat when he was refusing to eat anything and his blood sugar was dropping quickly. I had to tell myself "You Can Do This" as Dexcom vibrated me awake with lows and double arrows down all night long just two nights ago. When I meet a parent of a newly diagnosed T1 child, the first thing I would probably tell them is "You Can Do This".

The thing is though, I couldn't do it alone. I couldn't do it without my village of support - my husband, friends, family and the DOC. Sometimes Diabetes just plain sucks. It knocks you down and you aren't sure if you can muster the strength to get back up. When you have a good support system, a family, a village, a tribe, it gives you the strength to get up and keep going and strongly say "You Can Do This".

You can help others know that they are not alone and they can DO THIS too. Kim over at Texting My Pancreas has organized a large scale video project called YOU CAN DO THIS. She says: You Can Do This is a growing community of videos, created by people with diabetes, with the aim of provide validation, hope and encouragement through honest talk for those who struggle with the disease.
To Participate: Record a video of you telling your story. Talk about how hard it was to be a teen with diabetes, or how college life and diabetes didn't co-exist well. Share how you felt when you were diagnosed as an adult. Let other parents know the spectrum of emotions and fears you've felt. If you've dealt with depression, tell others, so they can know that they aren't the only ones on that road.
You can make a video and get it ready to post any time on or after June 15th. Please visit Texting My Pancreas for more details on how to be part of this most awesome and important project. WE CAN DO THIS!!!

Virtual 5k Baby!

2011-06-10T20:54:00.000-07:00

If you don't know Reyna over at Beta Buddies, well...you are missing out and you should go over there RIGHT NOW! Reyna is one amazing mama Pancreas and apparently amazingness runs in her family. Her sister has organized a Virtual 5K run to raise money for the JDRF. You can find out all the details HERE. You can participate no matter where you are and you can walk or run (which is good for me since I am NO runner! ) For a $10 entry fee, you not only give money to a great cause but you enter yourself to win all kinds of sweet prizes. There is no reason not get on board people! Let's kick some fundraising butt and help support a great organization. In the words of Reyna's sister "Let's show diabetes who is boss!" The event is Saturday June 25th. What are you waiting for!?

365:238 Double Arrows Down

2011-06-10T08:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes double arrows down is a good thing......

365:237 National Donut Day

2011-06-04T07:24:00.000-07:00

Nutritional Donut Info..Doesn't sound right, does it?

I have been down and out with pneumonia all this week and feeling like death warmed over. My dear husband has been working overtime, taking care of me, Addison and D. Being me, I felt compelled to give him a break when Addison had a string of highs for hours and it was 11pm. I dragged my pneumonia-ridden ass downstairs and prepared a site change, sporting a thermometer in my mouth to take my own temperature. 99.8. Not feeling great. D hasn't been playing fair this week. Addison has needed major basal tweaking. We got back from our trip and all of a sudden - BAM! Nothing was working right and we were seeing 300's every day! There is is nothing worse than feeling like crap on a stick AND battling stubborn blood sugars. Sometimes D just likes to kick you when you are down. Bastard.

Oooooh..I have been SO grumpy!!! Well, yesterday was the first day I was feeling almost back to normal (thank you antibiotics!) AND the basal tweaking was starting to pay off. So, Addison and I decided to embrace National Donut Day by visiting the wonderful Seattle institution Mighty-O Donuts. Vegan and Organic donuts..you can't beat em. But, of course, donuts are still EVIL on the ol' blood sugars. I almost licked em though. Almost. You know that little Pizza Trick Gary Sheiner taught me? Well, I figured it might work on Donuts too. So, I cranked Addison's basal up by 20% for 3 hours about an hour after he had the donut. It was working SO well!! BUT, he spiked up about 4.5 hours after donut and after the temp basal was done. Lesson learned. Crank that basal for 4-5 hours after donut!! 3 just isn't enough.

I love donuts

Evil Donut

Wayne's World Wednesday-Type 1 Wheel of Fortune

2011-06-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

*Today's Art is brought to you by my friend Wayne. You can find out more about Wayne and his family at his wife Amy's blog Free Snack.

All the foods been measured and counted with laser precision.

You’ve done everything right and even take a second to congratulate yourself on a job well done. We’ve got this sucker on the run.

The next blood test should sit nicely around 100bg... conformation and thanks for all your hard work.

Time for the test. You load up the meter. Prick the finger. BEEP...

348!

THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY EIGHT...*@!$!! WTF!

Welcome to the Type 1 Wheel Of Fortune!

-Wayne

Tripping with T1 - Pt. 2 Some Photos

2011-05-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

Crossroads in the Student Ghetto

Toe Check at the Empire State Plaza

New Albany-I can't say enough how wonderful this bakery is!

This is for you Heidi!

My Dad and Mom..pretty cute, don't you think?

I take a photo of this sign every time I visit Lark Street. I would never set foot in this crusty diner but I love this damn sign.

Chocolate Chip Scone anyone?

It was like summertime..

I love going out for a Hibachi meal when I am home.

Classic Albany Pizzeria

Addison showing off his chopstick

Addison with Grandpa in Grandpa's Art Room

You might find THIS at your parents house if they kept all your childhood things.

Tripping with T1 - Pt. 1

2011-05-29T10:16:00.000-07:00

Evening Sky in Albany Reflected in a Rain Puddle

We are back! It was a successful trip to Albany, NY the place where the infamous gangster Legs Diamond was killed, home to The RCA Nipper Dog, The Palais Royale AND me and Chris. Both my husband and I spent our formative years growing up in Albany. I loved it as a young child, hated it with a passion as a teenager, enjoyed it for a while post- college and then hated it once again and moved to the West Coast. After this visit, I am still filled with mixed feelings about my hometown. It is both beautiful and depressing. My family is there and my husbands family. I have dear friends who still live there. There is no doubt, I miss my friends and family. It is economically depressed and things look run down. BUT, it has gorgeous old buildings, the Hudson River and is it is wonderfully flat - great for biking everywhere! Albany doesn't change much from visit to visit, like it is stuck in a time warp. This is simultaneously comforting and depressing.

Classic Albany Time Warp

Albany trying to catch up to the 21st Century

Classic Albany circa 1980-coffee served in a
glass mug

Albany trying to catch up to the 21st Century-Synesso
(built in Seattle!) Espresso Machine

All in all though, we had a great trip. The weather was gloriously warm, visiting with friends and family was lovely. Despite our best efforts to super-immune-booster ourselves before the trip, Addison and I both got quite sick with a nasty virus/cold. It kept us from doing some the things would have liked to but it didn't completely stop us in our tracks. This trip, we stayed with Chris' best friend from childhood, his wife and his 4 year old daughter. His daughter, Nora, was born 2 weeks before Addison. I have never seen Addison get along so harmoniously with another child. This is not to say that things didn't break down at times..but it was like Addison had found his soul mate! Nora loves black holes and space just as much as Addison..need I say more?!

Simpatico!

You want to hear about the D end of things? I have to say, it all went extremely well. This was our first time traveling on a plane with the pump and cgm. Security was a non-issue. Everyone was very nice to us and it seemed like they were all pretty familiar with diabetes equipment. After he walked through the metal detector thingy (no xray machines in any of the airports we were in), they took him aside and had him touch both his pump and his cgm and then they swiped his hands with a special cloth and tested it for dangerous materials. It took an extra minute or two and was absolutely no big deal. We carried syringes and juice and infusion sets and dexie sensors through and none of it raised an eyebrow. In case you don't know, the dexcom 7 and the pump cannot go through an xray machine. In the future, when everything is switched to xrays, we will have to request a wanding or pat down for Addison.

There is a 3 hour time difference between NY and WA. It took some doing to find out what to do with the pump and the time change. This info is not on the Animas site and when I called them they told me I had to check in with our Endo to find out what to do. We were told by our Endo that when we landed we should change the time on the pump to the time zone we were in. I was a little nervous about this part but it worked really well. So, we only changed the time and nothing else. The warmer weather and extra activity definitely had an impact on Addison's blood sugars. We had lots of mild lows and a bunch of highs and some great numbers in between. We ate a lot of things not on our normal menu, did some SWAG'ing, ate out and it all ended up just fine. Not always ideal but we were always able to get it back under control quickly. Our Apidra went bad (had little floaty guys in it) I think because of the heat. We didn't think to keep our opened bottle in the fridge when we were at home. This is why we always bring back up! Speaking of back up, since we were going to visit family, I shipped a box of extra supplies ahead of us so we wouldn't have to carry it all on the plane. We of course carried plenty of extras with us but we were able to lighten our load a bit by shipping some ahead. I also had Animas ship a loner pump (for back up ) to my parents house so we wouldn't have to carry it on the plane with us.

The most challenging parts of the trip were getting sick and our return flight. As far as getting sick, there were no ketones and no funky blood sugars despite a low grade fever and lots of congestion. The challenge was wanting to be with our friends and family AND trying to get rest too so we wouldn't get worse. Our return flight...we were scheduled to fly out through Detroit on Wednesday and when we arrived at the airport to check in, we found out our flight was cancelled due to bad weather. They put us on a plane that was ahead of ours and still waiting to leave. Well, that plane was delayed and delayed and delayed and when the pilot told me it wasn't looking good I re booked our flight for Friday instead. We were re-routed to another airline and a flight through Charlotte, N.C. adding about an extra 2 hrs of time in the air to get back to Seattle. We were glad we got to stay in Albany an extra couple of days instead of being stranded in an airport or in Detroit (shudder to think!). So, we made it to Charlotte on Friday and landed in a thunderstorm/torrential downpour. Yup. It WAS bumpy!! Our plane to Seattle was delayed a bit due to the crazy weather but we finally made it out. The Charlotte to Seattle flight was bumpy in spots as well. You know it isn't good when the pilot announces to fasten your seat belts because we are "approaching some turbulent weather" and then tells the flight attendants to return to their seats. Bumpy. Addison was fantastic though. Never scared, had a great time flying. He was the perfect travel companion!

I will be back with Part 2 and more photos from our trip. It is good to be home and I am looking forward to catching up on some blog reading and writing!!

Flying is Fun

2011-05-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

Flying is fun. Flying is fun. Flying is fun. B-r-e-a-t-h-e.........Repeat. Bye bye Seattle. We are leaving today for Albany, NY. Our hometown. We have not been on a plane or back East since just after Addison was diagnosed. Here's hoping everything will go smoothly! You may or may not be hearing much from me this week but you can be sure I will be full of stories and photos upon our return! Cheers!

365:236 Wet Walking for Dollars

2011-05-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

It was a rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy..oh, sorry, where was I ..oh, yeah, rainy morning in Seattle yesterday. We walked for the JDRF in the damn pouring rain. Addison declared, less than half way through the walk, "I am DONE with this!". As much as I would love to report on how much fun our walk was, all I can say is that it was..wet!

BUT, you know, I would walk through fire if it meant helping to raise money to better my son's future. I would do anything to help better the futures of so many people with Type 1 and their families who I have gotten to know and love over the past few years. I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who gave to our team this year. We raised just over $10,000 and THAT is something to feel good about. Thank you again!!

Diabetes Blog Week-Final Day-Cracked

2011-05-15T15:53:00.000-07:00

Today's Topic-What have you learned from other blogs - either this week or since finding the D-OC? What has your experience of blogging the DBlog Week topics with other participants been like? What has finding the D-OC done for you? If you'd like, you can even look ahead and tell us what you think the future holds!

Ring the bells that can still ring.

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.

That's how the light gets in.

-Leonard Cohen-

In my crazy, busy week getting ready for a cross country trip, I was able to eek out my posts and read a few here and there. I discovered new bloggers, made new friends and felt strongly connected to the DOC. I learned that we are all connected, no matter what our styles or differences. No one is perfect and that is beautiful. Diabetes is one of the cracks that, if you open yourself up to it, lets a light in that you might not have know was there before. It isn't always pretty. Sometimes it is darker and more disturbing than Anthony Perkins in Psycho. But, all of us are out there working hard not to let it get the best of us. We are here to hold each other up. It was a great week Karen. Thank You. Can't wait until next year....

Diabetes Blog Week-Saturday Snapshots AHOY!

2011-05-14T13:24:00.000-07:00

Diabetes Blog Week-Photo Shows are Awesome

2011-05-13T16:59:00.000-07:00

Todays Topic:In February the #dsma blog carnival challenged us to write about the most awesome thing we’d done DESPITE diabetes. Today let’s put a twist on that topic and focus on the good things diabetes has brought us. What awesome thing have you (or your child) done BECAUSE of diabetes? After all, like my blog header says, life with diabetes isn’t all bad!

Oddly enough, I find a lot of things about diabetes awesome in the true sense of the word. I think it is awesome that someone like me, someone who could hardly look at a speck of blood or endure an injection can somehow overcome these phobias and just DO THIS THING. This THING that involves all the things that used to make me squirm. I do these things now and I feel nothing beyond purpose. It is awesome.

This newfound sense of purpose, courtesy of Type- 1- Diabetes -thank-you-very-much, opened up a creative part of me that I thought I had lost. I started this blog. I started taking photos. And, at this very moment, my photos are up in public for all to see. Thanks to Diabetes, I am having my first photo exhibition. It felt truly awesome as my friend Erik hung my photos and I got to see them all up together out in the world.

Then, I had an opening night. My friend Casey played his Uke, my friends came - new and old. There were kids running around - some with D some without. It was joyous. I had accidentally sent out an invite to my opening to a large parenting email list I am part of. I tried retracting it and someone emailed me and said that she had sent the invite to a friend of hers whose little boy was just diagnosed. Her friend turned out to be Amy, wife to Wayne who you met here the other day, and mama to Lucy and Cooper. They came to the opening, Wayne and I talked about collaborating. We all felt connected. Afterwards, my friend Casey approached me with an awesome idea about making a recording that would benefit the JDRF. The creativity was goin on. Diabetes brought me together with everyone and inspired all of us.

Diabetes connected me to an amazing group of people online and off that I now consider my TRIBE. My awesome T1 TRIBE.

So, Diabetes has brought new people and new joy into my life and it inspires me to keep creating. It has helped me to remember that you can always turn something undesirable into something beautiful. My eyes and heart are open to it. Awesomeness.

Diabetes Blog Week - 10 Things I Hate About You, Diabetes

2011-05-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

We do our best to be and feel positive about D. For our children, our family and our own sanity!! Negative feelings about D though are normal. It is healthy to get them out from time to time. To yell, cry, be angry and to hate. I am glad to have today to put it out there. We all need to let it out now and again. Thanks Karen.

1)You Never Let Me Rest - It takes a lot of science , art and a smidgen of luck for night time blood sugars to behave. It takes a small miracle for a pattern to emerge that lasts for a week a more. When I see that trend then, only then, do I really sleep. Addison was never a good sleeper when he was a baby. I was walking around in a sleep-depraved fog that first year. When he was diagnosed and I was told we would have to check him throughout the night I was crushed. Positively deflated. You are supposed to be able to get through those sleepless newborn nights by knowing it will end. Thanks to D, it probably won't end until Addison no longer lives under my roof.

2)Rude Interruptions-Why can't you just let my kid be a kid? Why do you always have to butt in and beg for attention? Hm? Hm? Having to stop Addison while he is playing, dancing, running and generally digging on life is a major downer. I hate it sometimes that Addison can't just go crazy without being interrupted by a blood sugar check or mother-birding some carbs (hello Reyna).

3) You're Up, You're Down - I feel the need to take a photo now when the Dexcom graph shows a semi flat line within our target range. You know why? It hardly ever happens. I have a growing boy, I know. But I hate seeing you mess with his body. I hate shoving sugar down his throat for lows. I hate watching how cranky he gets, feeling miserable during those highs. I hate having to constantly think about the numbers and log the information and tweak the insulin. I hate having to worry about the worst case scenarios at either end of the spectrum. Your ups and downs leave me chasing numbers.

4)Measure, Weigh and Measure some More - I hate that this morning I measured maple syrup with a teaspoon for my sons waffles. Where is the joy? I hate that I have to bring my scale with me everywhere. I hate that I my 4 year old can't just be given a big ol'...well anything to eat without me having to asses it's carbohydrate content. I hate that sometimes I look at food as the enemy.

5)Supplies - I hate that not only do I have to carry around all the usual stuff and things needed for a 4 year old when we go out but I have to add medical supplies on top. Diabetes supply bag, I hate you you hideous, burdensome mofo.

6)Pain-I hate you for the pain you cause my son. I have to shoot needles into my sweet little guy. He is so, so brave and most of the time doesn't blink an eye. But, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes he is scared. Sometimes he cries and tells me he has had enough of shots, sites, finger pricks, pumps and the like. It breaks my heart. It really is not fair.

7)Medical Equipment - I hate that my son has to be attached to devices to keep him alive. I hate seeing that little bump under his shirt on his back, the tubes hanging out, the waist pack holstering the CGM. I know, we have chosen these things because they are tools that help us. Tools that help Addison. But I still hate seeing them there, reminding me that his life depends on them.

8)Bye Bye Baby Butt, Bye Bye Fingers-Everyone always talks about "smooth as a baby's bottom" and those "sweet little baby fingers". Diabetes, you took that sweetness away. Since the age of 15 months, Addison's bottom has been riddled with little red dots where injections were administered. Now the landscape of his soft bottom is filled with sites. I have forgotten what it is like to feel his behind without something attached, to see his skin smooth and beautiful. His fingertips look like the planet Mercury. All those finger pokes have left little dots behind. When he gets into his paints or dirt, those marks glare at me. I hate that you have taken that beautiful skin away.

9) Conversations about Death- I hate that I had to talk to my son about how he could die from you Diabetes. It is not a conversation any parent should have to have with their 4 year old.

10)Carefree No More - I hate feeling envious of the other parents who hand their kids the whole box of crackers, the giant cotton candy, the half loaf of bread. I hate not just being able to do anything without my brain working on overdrive to be prepared. I hate feeling like some days I just can't deal with doing anything because D takes too much effort. I hate that we are carefree no more.

Diabetes Blog Week-Step Outside the Box..and into Wayne's World

2011-05-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today's Wild Card Topic - Step outside the box: Take your diabetes thoughts and instead of blogging about them as usual, push yourself to express them in a different way today. Make a vlog. Create a piece of D-Art. Write a poem. Draw a cartoon. Post a collage. Anything goes - as long as it is outside of your usual bloggy comfort zone!

I only have one diabetes blooper story (today's actual topic) that I actually laughed at in the moment and that was when I tried to use Addison's pump remote to operate the DVD player. It was funny but not worthy of a whole blog post so I am going with the wild card topic today to think outside the box. I am thinking so far outside the box, in fact, that I am not even in the box anymore, Wayne is. I know, you are wondering who the hell is this Wayne? Well, let me tell you. I met Wayne by accident and I will tell you more about that later in the week. But for now, all you need to know is this - Wayne's son Cooper was diagnosed with Type 1 in January. The fact that Wayne and his wife Amy are out and about attending art openings and the like is proof positive that they are waaaaaay more together than I was 4 months after Addison's diagnosis! (Bravo Wayne and Amy!) Wayne has been making some amazing diabetes art and he has agreed to be a regular fixture here on my blog. So, today, I welcome you into Wayne's World with a piece of his artistic creation called 3AM (which I really love btw) followed by a guest post from Wayne himself. Thank you Wayne. I mean - Excellent! Party On!

Cooper - diagnosed January 2011 at age 4
Cooper's diagnosis happened like many others I’ve heard. He got a bad virus, a cold and then bam!..suddenly he’s peeing all the time, drinking loads, eating plenty but losing weight. At first we figured it was the results of his cold, but after his peeing got to the point of being ridiculous and his mood just seemed odd, I hit the internet. I typed in ‘my son drinks and pees all the time’. There it was... all the symptoms of Type 1. He had them all. I was terrified, but convinced myself he was OK even though deep down I knew he had diabetes.

Monday we phoned the doctor who suggested we go to the lab for a blood test so we could have some results by our Wednesday appointment. Tuesday morning the doctor phoned... we headed to emergency. Coop's BG number was in the 800s. That week I can honestly say was the worst of my life. It’s hard to describe how you feel when you find out your kid's won some random Type 1 lottery. I was upset, devastated, angry... determined, committed. I quickly tried to set the tone for the family by keeping us all laughing and learning as a team, but it ended up being Cooper who took the lead. He was thin and weak, but always brave and always kept his sense of humor. He has never once complained about ANYTHING. He just gets it done and rolls with it. The youngest person in our family is setting the pace and leading the charge. I couldn’t be prouder.

Type 1 is a royal pain in the arse, but I’m grateful we caught it and can treat it. In hindsight it’s clear Cooper was suffering with this for a while, but at a level we couldn’t really detect. He was moody, sleepy, crabby...up and down. It makes me cringe to think of the donut we gave him on the Sunday before he went to the hospital. Anyways, since knowing the problem we have been able to put up a good fight. As a result Cooper is doing awesome. It’s like Type 1 tarnished him to the point where we couldn’t really see the real Coop anymore. Now, he’s polished up and shining through again and for me that's all the motivation I need.

Type 1 we're ready for you and all the sneaky, good for nothing... (insert endless amounts of cursing)... tricks you will try. You do your worst and we will do our best.

-Wayne

Diabetes Blog Week- 365: 235 A Letter to Dexie

2011-05-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

Dexie sporting a Waterproof Suit

Dear Dexie,
You came into our lives only a few short months ago. You made your entrance on the red carpet, dressed to the nines and looking your best. I mean, damn, that tuxedo? that top hat? that bow tie? HOT! You were looking FINE! When those numbers first started showing up on your screen - WOW! We couldn't have been more starstruck! Look at that ! Can you believe it!? Our first glimpse into the inner workings of Addison's elusive blood glucose (or do you call it interstitial fluid glucose?). Anyway, those first readings wowed us big time. You WERE a star, just like everyone said.

Then the dust settled. The dazzle wore off. You audaciously flashed us ???. You dared us to trust you. We had to call your agents and find out why you were being so difficult to deal with. Why do you stars always have to have a difficult side?

We spent the week with you as a guest in our house. It wasn't all sunshine and roses, red carpets and tuxedoes, but you know, you grew on us. We came to appreciate having you around - faults and all. We decided we didn't want to live without you(isn't that just how you planned it?) and put in a request to make you a permanent member of our household.

And here we are. Like I mentioned earlier, it has been a few months now. You don't wear your fancy clothes anymore, you are always busy working. Sometimes, you still wow us and we feel so, so grateful. Like when you caught a bad low as we were leaving the park after playing soccer. A finger check a few minutes earlier showed a 160 and we thought we were good to go until we got home. You sounded your alarms about 5 minutes later as we were walking to the car - DOUBLE ARROWS DOWN!! LOOK AT ME!! Addison was at 53. We wouldn't have checked again before getting into the car. Addison was acting fine.

Sometimes, you are just an attention hog though. Like last night for example. You vibrated and beeped - C'MON! LOOK AT MEEEEEE! You told me Addison was high but he was at 150. I mean, can't you let me get a little sleep, just a few hours without looking at you? You drifted all day yesterday Dex - whats up with that? Do you really need me to fondle you and look at you more than I do? Press your buttons? I guess you do. Your need for ego stroking is interminable.

I know you like the attention, Dexie. The constant touching and looking at you. But is ??? really the way to go? False alarms? Readings way off the mark? Sensor failure? I have a secret for you dear Dexie, the more accurate you are, the bigger a star you will be. You do want to hear me say good things about, don't you? To sing your praises? I want to, I really really do. I know the smart people who created you are working on your accuracy. I can't wait until they get it figured out. Then you can really be the star you always wanted to be. The star YOU deserve to be. In the meantime, I will still love you despite your faults and the way you torture me sometimes and I promise I will try not to throw you out the window on those days when I just can't take it anymore. I said try.

Mama Pancreas

Diabetes Blog Week - Admiring Our Differences

2011-05-09T07:58:00.000-07:00

Pick a type of blogger who is different from you and tell us why they inspire you - why you admire them - why it’s great that we are all the same but different!!

Space Suit at the Museum Of Flight - Taken with April in mind

PWD's. In case you don't know, that stands for People With Diabetes. As the parent of a preschool aged child with Type 1 there are lots of things I don't know. There are lots of things I think about and sometimes worry about. Sometimes it is so hard to imagine my boy will someday by a teenager, my boy will someday be a man and through it all my son will always be a PWD. I don't know what that feels like. I do know this though..people can live with T1! They grow up and become amazing adults! Really and truly. I know this because I am fortunate enough to know many PWD's both online and off.

PWD's inspire me with their bravery and courage and strength. They inspire me with their ability to admit their own fears and struggles. They inspire me as they keep on keeping on. I love getting a glimpse into the inner life of a PWD, something I am not normally privy to being a caregiver of a CWD. At least, not yet! Having a 4 year old, I often imagine what he will be like as a teen or adult and wonder how living with Type 1 will shape who he becomes. I want to do right by him and help along this journey in the best, supportive way I know how. I want to encourage him to get angry, sad or frustrated by Diabetes, let it all out, talk about it, move on and keep living life with the glass half full. I take many cues from the PWD's out there.

I discovered a new blog recently, Nerdy April's Space Adventures - Going Where No Diabetic Has Gone Before. April is an Aerospace Engineer and PWD. She dreams big. She wants to be the first PWD to travel into Space. You know what else, she is learning to SCUBA dive. Do you know what a challenge that is for a PWD? You can read about it here. Every time I go to her blog I feel lifted up. I feel like Addison WILL be ok. I feel inspired to stand by my son and encourage and support whatever dreams he may have no matter what. I carry April around with me now. I think of her when we visit the museum of flight or read about Space or visit the NASA site to check out what's up with the new Mars rover project. I carry her with me as I parent my T1 child. We have never met, obviously. We are different. But we both live with T1 and that makes us the same. It unites us. We are part of the same TRIBE. We are both fighting to make the most of it and live life to the fullest. Thank you PWD's for sharing your stories. I salute you!

Mothers Day & 2nd Annual Diabetes Blog Week and let's just throw in 365:234

2011-05-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

That's right people, tomorrow begins the second annual Diabetes Blog Week. That means you get to hear me blab every single day this week..aren't you exited? I know I am. The wonderful, glorious, amazing Karen of Bitter-Sweet is the organizer of this event. Karen..last year I lived for getting up in the morning to write and participate AND even though I have a million things going on this week...I will be here writing! If you are interested in participating, head on over and sign yourself up!

Happy Mothers Day today too! To my Mom...for teaching me to never give up..I love you Mom! To all my D Mama's - you inspire me! You are strong, courageous and AMAZING. I am glad to know you! Hope you are ALL having a wonderful, relaxing day doing just whatever it is you like to do most.

Being a Mama is an experience that has changed my life in so many ways. So many GOOD ways! I am grateful to my son for enhancing my life and teaching me so much about myself and the world. Addison makes my heart swell!

I will leave you with this photo from yesterday. Some of you may remember that Addison is a budding scientist and Bill Nye the Science Guy is one of his heroes. He was even Bill Nye the Science Guy going on a space mission for Halloween this past year. Well, we were lucky enough to go see Mr. Nye speak yesterday the University of Washington and here is a little memento from our afternoon - enjoy!

365:233 Happy

2011-05-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

I had a reception last night for the opening of my photo show at Victrola Coffee here in Seattle. In case you didn't know, I have some of the photos up this month that are from my Diabetes 365 Project. It is a small space and a small show but I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it was putting those photos up and seeing them all together in a public space. I felt proud. I felt like I had made something good out of something that often seems ..not so good. There is something to be said for that.

I had every intention of taking a ton of photos at the reception of everyone who came. I had my camera slung over my shoulder, I had my point and shoot all charged up in my bag and ready to go. But somehow, I didn't snap a single one. I was having too much fun visiting with everyone who came. I was snapping photos of everyone..but with my mind not my actual camera. There was a moment I was looking across a table at Sarah and her boys, she had just SWAG'd a brownie. She came up from Tacoma. In the rain. With her guys. I snapped that photo of them sitting there in my mind. I was so happy they were there. It gave me great joy to see old friends and new ones. It gave me even greater joy to see Addison so happy. There were lots of kids in attendance..some with D some not. Addison ran with the pack and danced and laughed and learned how to play rock, paper scissors. I have a good friend who helps out with Addison and occasionally I would see him go by with the bottle of glucose tabs ..Addison was running a bit low thanks to all the fun! He didn't want the party to end ..he was ready to party all night! The photo above was taken when we went out for dinner afterwards. I think you can see the pure joy on his face. He may have even gone to sleep smiling.

It was 3 years ago that Addison was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I spent that Mothers day in the hospital crying my eyes out. Addison was only 15 months old. I didn't think I would ever be able to administer shots and check blood sugars. But here I am. Doing it. Doing it with style. We have come so far since May 2008. Sometimes I still cry my eyes out but not nearly as much as I used to. Having purpose helps. Having this blog. Taking photos. Raising money. Laughing helps too. Enjoying my little guy and my big guy. Being around people who speak my language. Being around friends who inspire me. I have learned not to take this life for granted and to try make the most of it the best way I know how. Last night was a really, really good one. Thanks again to all who came and gave their support. I am pretty sure Addison is still smiling. Me too.

365:232 Bullseye

2011-05-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

Thinking of Darkness, Thinking of Water

2011-05-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

How much do I love the DOC? Well, A LOT. A WHOLE Lot. I learn more than I ever did reading most books or clinical sites about Type 1 Diabetes. I have had a couple of things on my mind this week and they magically appeared in these posts by Heidi at D Tales and Roselady at Diapeepees. Both posts gave me fantastic ideas and then I went out in the world and online and found some more cool stuff. What the heck am I talking about? Well, here's the scoop.

It starts with meters and test strips. We use both the Freestyle Lite and the Animas/One Touch remote/meter. The Freestyle is my favorite and I dream every day(seriously, every day) that Animas would make their pump remote Freestyle compatible. Since that is never going to happen, we use two meters. The Freestyle takes a smaller drop of blood, wastes less strips on errors and most importantly to me has a handy dandy light that lights up the strip AND the desired finger for those middle of the night checks. With the Animas/One Touch there is no light and we are forced to find something else to light up a fingertip in the middle of the night. We have used headlamps and camping lights in the past. Mostly, we just got annoyed and went back to our old reliable Freestyle buddy. This is ok but we have found that Mr. Freestyle and Mr. Smartypants (Animas/One Touch) give very different readings. Generally this is not too much of an issue but when you have to calibrate Dexie during the night, it helps keep things on track to use the same meter all the time. Heidi posted a great flashlight app for the iphone/ipod touch that I am excited to try out. Today, when I was doing a little shopping at REI I came across this little wonder in the impulse buy section near the registers.

It is a fancy little L.E.D on a string that neatly ties onto a zipper. It is the perfect size for the inside zipper of our meter pouch. Is it weird that I can't wait for tonight to try both lights out?

It ends with water. We have travel plans coming up and summer (hopefully) right around the corner. This means water, water and more water. The hose is already out getting lots of action on any nice day that we have (which hasn't been many this spring!). The pump is waterproof but Dexie is not and if there is one time when I really want to have Dexie available it is summertime-running around-playing- in -the water-time. I have been wondering what on earth people do with their CGM's when they are in or around the water. As it turns out, there are waterproof cases in the world perfectly suited for protecting your CGM while you are splashing around. You can find one option over at Diapeepees this week. I found this similar pouch while at REI today and picked one up. I also found this waterproof pouch over at Spibelt and we will be trying one of these out as well. Addison loves his Spibelt pouch the most. So much so that we had to take the clear pouch off of our pumpwear belt and attach it to the Spibelt. He won't wear it any other way.

So how about you? How do you light up your fingers in the night? How do you protect your CGM in the summer? Thanks again Heidi and Roselady for opening my eyes!

The Golden Theme or Why We Tell Our Stories

2011-05-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't been reading much these days and I have been writing even less. Diabetes has been demanding. So has my 4 year old. Sometimes it is a difficult balance to live life, parent, pancreate, tend to the house, get some time with my husband and come here and write. For some reason, here usually takes a backseat to all the rest. I was up at Victrola a couple of weeks ago having a meeting and I ran into my friend Brian McDonald. Brian is one of those people who can instantly change your mood and lighten your heart when you run into him. You can hear his laugh miles away and that is a good thing. Just seeing his face across the cafe makes me immeasurably happy. You see, I met Brian when my husband and I owned and ran Victrola. He was a true regular- a cafe fixture. We became friends and it lasted beyond my days as a cafe proprietress. Besides being a wonderful guy, Brian is a talented writer and film maker. He recently published a couple of books that I have been bugging him to bring me copies of. When I saw him the other week, he pulled the books out of his bag and I was thrilled.

Brian McDonald (photo by Marcus Donner)

As I walked home, I began skimming through the first one entitled the Golden Theme - How to Make Your Writing Appeal to the Highest Denominator. There is a chapter called "Why Humans Tell Stories" and in it Brian talks about "survival information" being circulated through stories. He says "Because stories contain valuable survival information, we are ravenous consumers of stories and seek them out daily". This may not be groundbreaking information to you, but to me it was profound. It got me thinking about my own story and Addison's. It got me thinking about why it was so important to me to put my photographs up for view in a public space. It got me thinking about Hallie, Reyna, Heather and all of you who blog and tell your stories every day. It is my hope that my story will be told. That someday, maybe it will help save someones life. That maybe it will give someone comfort to know they are not alone. Maybe it will inspire people to give money to keep Type 1 Diabetes research on track so one day we will see a cure. I know that your stories help me get through the day. They help me to survive living with T1. They help me to feel like a I am not alone.

I actually read through the entire book (ok, so it is short but I don't make it through a whole book no matter what the length lately!) and found the rest of it just as profound and wonderful. It spoke to me and got me excited about writing more again. It is motivating me to make the time and get back to putting more of the story out there. Thanks Brian. You are, as always, an inspiration.

365:231 Keeping Us in Checks

2011-05-02T19:29:00.001-07:00

365:230 Stuck on You

2011-05-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

We try and coordinate site changes with baths whenever we can. Soaking in the tub makes them come off nice and easy. Unfortunately, for those of you don't know my lack of tidying up ways, the discarded sites are quickly placed somewhere on the rim of the tub and soon forgotten about. Before you know it, those little suckers are stuck on everything..including the shampoo bottle. When I picked this up the other day it struck me how utterly ridiculous it was that we cannot manage to throw these things out right away. Ah well, I will justify it by saying I just need to spend my time on more important things. Like..tweaking basal rates all week, chasing lows and generally scratching my head over major pump adjustments! The slightly nicer weather seems to have impacted blood sugars around here in a big way. 50 has been the magic low number that has been plaguing us all week long.

Two Great Giveaways and A Great Cause..Hop to It!

2011-04-29T13:37:00.000-07:00

I have been neglecting pimping out my DOC buddies A LOT lately and for that I apologize! I am always amazed and inspired by all of the giveaways and the wonderful ADVOCATING that so many of you are able to do.

*The Princess and the Pump! Hallie has a wonderful giveaway going on in honor of Sweetpea's 2nd Diaversary. Why celebrate the day of diagnosis? Well, so many of us regard this as the day our children's lives were saved. They were lucky to have been diagnosed and started on insulin. There are many children out there who are not so lucky.

* Beta Buddies. It is Joe's birthday and the fabulous and funny Reyna is giving away a $100 shopping spree at your choice of several wonderful vendors. Happy Birthday Joe!

*Candy Hearts. Wendy is one of the most generous people out there. She started a wonderful campaign for the LFAC (Life for A Child) this year. It is estimated that there are 100,000 children around the world with diabetes who are in need of assistance to access insulin. Without insulin these children will die in 1 week. There is no reason that these children should be dying so let's get on it! You can visit Candy Hearts right HERE to find out how you can help support this great cause to help get insulin to children all over the world.

365:229 Infusion Set Rocket Boosters

2011-04-28T08:37:00.001-07:00